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If so, then it is an either or approach. "Either you cooperate and get as well as you are able, as mobile, or you enter care, because it is becoming too tough to take care of you while you are either bedbound or chairbound. Basically it is up to you. So I would suggest giving this a try so we don't need right now to consider what the next steps might be."
She may be right. This may be the best she can do. And if so she may need placement. And you are almost certainly correct that she is fearful. Promise visits as often as you are able.
(We also took her to her ortho doctor before the meeting, who stated that she should NOT have been forced to stand on her broken leg. His position of support meant a lot (I'm sure) in getting better therapy and care.)
The therapist could give her exercises that can be done laying down, or sitting up on the bed (better a wheelchair though, more support for her back).
What can you do to (a) lessen her fear and anxiety and (b) make more confident of herself? We brought flowers, candy, photos and more. And we visited a lot, although that's more challenging these days.
Also, find out about activities, specifically animal visits and music. They were a blessing for all of us. Animals can soothe frightened people.
Good luck; IF you have a good rehab company, and a good therapist, wonders can be worked!
I had a similar experience where one PT pushed his exercise program despite my relutance, until I just flatly refused. His collegue listened & understood the whys of my reluctance & then changed the program - much better result.
I like Alva's hard stance. Tell her that she needs to do this or she is going to need too much care for her current living arrangements and will have to go to a nursing home. Tell her the rehab is short term, so that she will be able to remain living where she's living. Tell her it's only for a few weeks (or whatever you expect the duration to be).
I don't know what to do if she won't get out of her chair and cooperate for the visit! Maybe entice her with something she likes afterwards? Going out for lunch? Ice cream? A stiff drink - lol? Going to visit someone? Then hopefully she likes the place and will not give you a hard time about going for real. If she won't go on the tour, I would push real hard for going on Tuesday.
She has been in terrible pain the last 4 weeks due to the carelessness of the nurse. Her home health physical therapist saw her this afternoon and she past his exam with flying colors.....she even told him "I'm doing much better, I don't even need my pain medicine any more" as soon as he left she took two hydrocodone. I agree the pain has decreased compared to previous weeks but she is a fall risk and is resisting help from the folks staying with her. the PT called me after his assessment and she did well on his tests and stated that a rehab center can not give her the quality of care she is getting at home.
The whole situation is taking its toll on her primary caregiver and on me..... Mom has been very sassy and contrary lately. She states that she knows what is best for her. In fact two doctors have released her until she "needs them again". I think her attitude influenced those decisions.
I live about 1.5 hours away but plan on seeking her tomorrow.
You can fall just as easily in there and worse catch something from someone else.
Nusing f Homes are all Understaffed and you can end up laying in your own urine and feces for up to an hour.
You should allow her to stay at home, where she is comfortable and feels safe.
The Nursing Homes will tell you exactly what you want to hear but remember, it's just a Sales Pitch and once in the home, it's nothing like advertised.
Please leave her at home.
Sign her up for Home Health and let her do her therapy in the comfort of her home.
INatalie a few Cameras I'm her home so you can check in on her 24 6 at any time.
For my 97 yr old Dad, I had my son install Nest Cameras which was pretty easy.
It's always a good idea to keep watch over your love one to see how they're treated at home, when you're not around.
Do not put her in a Rehab/Nursing Home, it would be a horrible experience. It will shorten her life. She will be unhappy , sad, scared and will start going downhill from the moment you leave her there.
Prayers
Easy to tell others what to do when you didn't have to do it.
hi bev :).
i’m on bev’s side: i think bev means well, as do most of us.
don’t ignore bev.
i think it’s good we have several viewpoints on the website.
i think most of us here on the website are trying our best to give kind advice.
in the end, only OP knows the full picture; only OP can decide what’s the best way forward in their situation.
—
“definitely keep LO home”
vs.
“definitely put LO in a facility”
there are so many factors, to make a good decision…
——
even when one is totally convinced OP should do X…who knows, maybe X turns out to be terrible advice.
so in a sense, it’s good to hear many varied, kind viewpoints.
somewhere in that mix, one might find useful tips.
and who knows —— maybe ironically the least popular viewpoint (from some forgotten post) WOULD HAVE BEEN indeed the best way.
:)
it happens all the time in math, science, literature…some totally unpopular view later turns out to be right!
so why shouldn’t it happen also in the world of advice :).
nice to have varied, kind viewpoints. :)
——
so many of us on this website are suffering (besides our LOs)…
don’t abandon yourself.
go for your dreams.
expect a lot from life.
:)
bundle of joy :)
It's not just an opinion, she has gone out of her way to cause guilt and shame for placing a loved one, based on BS.
Edit: every single person that has had to place a loved one would be thrilled to have the financial resourses to have 24/7 in home care. Telling everyone that is faced with this option how bad they all are, which is a lie, and laying a holier then thou persona is emotional abuse. You really think that's okay?
If
PT should make her feel better, physically and mentally.