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For some reason the parent only sees the grown child as a teen or young adult instead of someone who is not far from being a senior or is a senior themselves.
As others here have asked, what house issues are the issues?
"Mom, there are House Rules that you need to follow if you are going to remain here. If you can't follow the rules we are going to have to look for another place for you."
Now if your husband will not do this or does not agree with the "follow the rules or move out" idea then your only problem is not with MIL but with your husband.
You do not indicate what problems you are having and adding those details might help.
How does your husband feel about this and does he agree with you?
Add to that a whole bunch of other behaviors that stressed me out so bad, I became bedridden, I was despondent.
The kind people here advised me to consider that she may have dementia. It was a series of lightbulb moments.
Yep. She was well on her way into moderate dementia. It explained (but didn’t fix) all the behaviors that were making me crazy.
Why is someone with significant health problems taking care of someone who is (also from your profile) ..."91 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, anxiety, depression, hearing loss, incontinence, mobility problems, and vision problems."
I take it you are doing the bulk of the caregiving? Again, WHY? Did you agree to your MIL moving in? How long has she lived with you? Don't expect her to change. Rather, you must change the situation and what you will put up with.
What does your H say about HIS mother and how difficult it is?
Profile mentions incontinence, vision & mobility problems. Would these be barriers to keeping the rules eg being unable to see well to clean up the kitchen after making a snack? Being unable to walk well enough to put rubbish outside?
Or is there a cultural/generational expectation you (as DIL) should be her maid?
If the former, work with her for comprimises & solutions.
If the later, hike her rent up.
Way up.