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To soak up the liquid in Stools. It was along time ago. Not sure if this is even suggested now.
Good luck , that must be so hard.
Call EMS to pick him up.
He needs to be checked and you need to catch your breath . Good Luck .
As to the stools, stop the softeners. All people are different and for some the stool softeners just don't allow for any sphincter control at all. The same can happen with too much psyllium based product. There is a mucilaginous sort of lining that just allows stool to slip out. So stop the softeners; it is clearly not the product for him.
You are being realistic in knowing that you're approaching your limitations. I am very sorry for that, but not everything can be fixed. You aren't superhuman, you aren't god, you didn't create this and can't fix it. The time is approaching when no matter your love and good intentions, you may not be able to meet hubby's needs on your own, and in facility care may be required. If the caregiving kills you first, then where is he?
Please don't ever try to pick him up yourself. call 911 and they will either send out EMS or the fire dept. to pick him up, and if he isn't hurt and doesn't need to be transported to the hospital, there isn't any charge.
My late husband who had vascular dementia, was falling all the time and I just called 911 and the EMS folks were always very kind and helpful in getting him back into bed. And there was never a charge.
It may be time to be looking into the appropriate facility for your husband where you can get back to just being his loving wife and advocate and not his burned out caregiver.
Wishing you the very best as you travel this very difficult road with your husband.