By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Your putting the cart before the horse. It may not have have spread. If it has, you get your options. But his other problems need to be part of the decisions. How will chemo and maybe radiation effect other organs. Will his heart be able to take it? Already having problems with his legs, will chemo worsen them. Chemo is very hard on the body. Treating it aggressively even more so. If your husband was in his 80s I may say let nature take its course but 69?
Then consider getting yourself help. I sent my SO to a therapist. I told him "I know you must have feelings and fears about meeting a woman and one year later she is dealing with a cancer and mastectomy. I beg you to see a therapist. I am going to be busy dealing with life or death, and can't help you". He did. He was so cute, came home saying "Well, he says I am fine and come back if I need him; he said be certain in all the bad stuff we have to go through now we plan fun small vacations and GOOD things: I will be in charge of THAT".
We are all human. You are who you are and have good insight. And believe it or not, cancer can be a teacher. You can learn to be different.
I wish you the very best. My own journey began 35 years ago. I am still here despite having two positive nodes at the time.
Then, step back and take a deep breath. You have been given a jarring diagnosis and the C word almost always creates overwhelming fear. Some people use anger to get through the fear, sounds like you could be one, I am.
I would, also, take a good long, honest look at his quality of life. Have you guys ever talked about what isn't good enough to continue fighting for? I would be bereft without my husband, whom is my BF but, I know that he wouldn't want to live with no quality of life, being stuck at home with a babysitter because his mind is gone. We have talked about these issues. My point is, don't put him through the brutality of cancer treatments if he will never get better. If he chooses that route that's one thing but, you deciding because he can't, that's another.
I pray that it is treatable and he can have quality of life and that you have wisdom, peace and courage for whatever is coming.
My mother in law has s4 non Hodgkins, now inactive for almost a year now. Aggressive cancer treatment did prolong her life, but now she can’t walk. My Fil meanwhile has had six general anesthesia’s since his own stroke. He’s since sustained three fractures during falls and only recently started using a walker again. Hes prepping for yet another surgery.
Medical papers would call them both a success since they’re still alive. But it’s to the point now where my prayer for them is no longer to prolong life, but please God don’t let this be the medical intervention that’ll result in them losing the remainder of their mobility and/or their cognition.
"I'm married to my best friend who is ill and we lost our only child four years ago at the age of twenty two. My husband has many health issues and was forced to retire early. He became shut in and then sedatary due to lack of vehicle and physical immobility due to legs ankles and other health isdes including but not only diabetis. I work and he just can not be along my niece has been here but must return home. He forgets and leaves the burner on the stove on and he fell and has two black eyes gash on bump on head. His doctors have zero compassion and do not treat us with dignity. He’s just a number for them to bill insurance. I’m exhausted and scared. He needs insulin a ton of meds and I chart everything he has been unable to even take his meds he forgets I need help"
My ex was diagnosed with aggressive stage 4 prostate cancer 3 years ago. In lymph nodes and bones. Has had surgery, rads and hormone therapy.
He's still here, still very much functioning and mostly healthy, so take heart.
You BOTH must be scared to death.
For me, being scared ALWAYS manifests as irritation.
I have found that meditation, medication and talk therapy to be very effective for this.
Please understand that taking care of YOUR mental health is also caring for him.