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I know I just posted, but last night my grandmother who I care for attempted to kill herself by taking a bunch of pills. We got her to the hospital and she's stable, but brain damaged and unable to give answers. They're admitting her finally and her POA (husband) made it so she can't leave. We're lost though on next steps or how to deal with this. Do we just sit and wait for the hospital to suggest, start looking for resources, get things in order?

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Who is in charge here?
If there is no POA then the husband is.
That's the person that will be contacted regarding care, likely placement ongoing.
Your grandmother, can OF COURSE NOT LEAVE at this point. She will be on a suicide hold that will be AT THE LEAST 72 hours, and perhaps more.
She needs psychiatric and neuro evaluation that is complete.
I am so sorry. In all truth life becomes too difficult for many people of all ages, and this does happen. I hope she gets the best of care, evaluation, medications and followup.
Again, I am so sorry.
There is no need to apologize for posting here, ever. And in fact we hope that you will come here as often and whenever you wish to, and when it may bring you some comfort.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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JayceSpace Nov 18, 2024
My grandfather is technically the one in charge. I'm apperantly labeled her medical proxy though. We're working on making sure she's safe. Getting her diagnosed. Mental health checked. And then either staying safe or goes about this through the proper channels.
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I'm so sorry jayce, I'm sure this is so hard.

I'm not sure I understand where grandmas husband is and why he can't leave?

It does sound like this is a sit and wait situation.

Depending on how bad your mom is, if they say she will make an almost full recovery then that would be different option. But my feeling is if not I would ask them if hospice can be brought in. Grandma is tired of struggling, it sounds like she is done with this world.

Please keep us posted please, and don't forget to take care of yourself through out this.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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JayceSpace Nov 17, 2024
He's with me. Sorry if that was unclear. He's her POA and is making it so she can't leave the hospital.
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I think you sit and wait for the social worker to give you ideas.
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Reply to southernwave
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You tell the hospital social worker and your grandmothers doctors that she is an "unsafe discharge" and can no longer live at home as there is no one to care for her.
They will then have to find the appropriate facility for your grandmother to move into.
And if money is an issue the social worker can help her husband apply for Medicaid to pay for her placement and care.
I'm glad that your grandmother will finally be getting the help she so desperately needs.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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JayceSpace Nov 17, 2024
We don't have Medicaid where I live. Thankfully my grandfather has a good insurance and money put away.

I'm sad, but glad too. I've been pleading she take help for the last year. Even as early as 2 weeks ago she went to the hospital and they let her walk herself out. My grandfather didn't want to tell the hospital she's at risk, so I did. I just want her to get help and be comfortable.
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Ugh... I'm so sorry for this turn of events.

Are you sure she attempted suicide and didn't just forget that she had already take the pills?

Nonetheless... LTC? Hospice? She won't be released home if no one takes her there. What does her doctor say about what kind of ongoing care will she now need? Is she mobile at all? Can she feed herself? Etc...?
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Reply to Geaton777
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JayceSpace Nov 17, 2024
Yes we're sure. She took 3 full bottles from what we can tell. Took time to call people late at night just to say goodbye ect...

The doctor right now is admitting her to neurology and geriatrics for monitoring. They don't know much as she's not coherent and we weren't up to actually confirm what happened, just that we found her a couple hours later on the ground.

Right now she can't do much of anything. Before she could still walk with assistance and eat. I did all her personal care like ostomy, showering.
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I think Gmom needsvto be placed. Gdad can see an elder lawyer about splitting assets,
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Reply to JoAnn29
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JayceSpace Nov 18, 2024
Assets are already split or independent. We've finally gotten the process started of her getting diagnosed and placed with this. She seems to think it's no big deal and they'll let her go home if she's difficult enough.
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Sorry your grandma decided to do this. Hopefully she can get help.

Is there a trigger that might have led her to do this, {like shorter days as an example)?
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Reply to cover9339
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JayceSpace Nov 18, 2024
We're hoping. She's being difficult at the hospital so no progress has been made. But she's finally on their radar. She's cognitive enough to not want people in her business.

The trigger was her son dying recently of a heart attack. That paired with her depression escalating come winter. I know it's not my fault, but I argued with her that night too begging her to stop being stubborn and accepted the help provided to her (as I'm the only one she'll let do any care). She had an ostomy blowout and refused to let anyone change it and instead taped a dog pad to her stomach and sat there yelling at us.
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Rational members here have discussed how they intend to kill themselves legally or quasi-legally using hospice drugs once they deem there is no future in going forward with life. Would grandma have been at that point with ckd, chf, copd, chronic pain, etc?
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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JayceSpace Nov 18, 2024
Yes, she has chronic pain, an ostomy, major hernia. She also has untreated depression and anxiety. It was planned but not. She's been talking about dying since her ostomy but this was the first attempt. She took 2 weeks worth of heavy medication at once. She's now acting like nothing happened and she did nothing wrong and keeps asking to go home.

We gave her the legal option if she was set on this. She didn't want to take that though as "it's not in my control, I know what I'm doing."
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