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If my grandson was ever in your spot, I would want him to let me go to The Lord in PEACE.
Let Grandma go. 🩷
The aim of this feeding tube..?
Short term until recovery?
Life at all cost to align with family beliefs? An option a Doctor mentioned because they wished to avoid removing all hope?
I've seen this situation many times.
I have no idea if this will help your situation. But an elder refusing or unable to eat that slowly slips away is not a bad way to go at all. Family have time to sit & say goodbye. It can be peaceful.
I think if the elder chooses for themself to stop eating & drinking it can be somewhat easier. Some family members may be distraught or fight them, not ready to let go. But when the CHOICE falls in family (your Aunt) it is a burden. Could feel like your Aunt holfds the decision to live or die. But I disagree.
I don't hold man-made medicine in such that high a view. I am not religious (many are & would ask for guidence there). I defer to Mother Nature.
A woman with a long life, that now cannot eat, what would Mother Nature do?
My MIL lasted the last year of her life on >300-400calories per day. We were told she would die within a month of beginning to starve herself. She lasted a year.
BUT--the option to put in a feeding tube was never discussed. She had made her EOL choices, and this was one of them.
A feeding tube can cause bloating, gas, and a lot of gastro issues.
Grandma is 90. Perhaps it's time to bring in Hospice Care.
I am sorry if this is the case to be done to your grandmother. In all honesty I think it exceptionally cruel. I would request hospice if the decision is yours and your grandmother cannot make it for herself.
Sorry for what you are going through. No matter how many tubes you put down your grandmother is likely dying. With Hospice she can be made comfortable. With tube feedings she will likely have severe diarrhea and bed sores and a prolonging of her misery.
Again, I as a retired RN find this quite shocking for a doctor to suggest. Back in my time it was a profit thing, but there's no profit in it now with DRGs paying for hospital care. So I cannot imagine a doctor wanting to put an elder through this.
If she has had a brain hemorrhage have the doctors determined how much damage has been done?
Is she conscious?
Is she cognizant?
Has she ever expressed what her wishes are for her end of life decisions?
If it were me deciding for a loved one I would NOT do a feeding tube, I would not do intubation. And I would not do IV's strictly for hydration. (administrating medications is another thing but I would have to think about why.)
At this point I would opt for Hospice.
Please do not rob your grandmother of this. Have hospice keep her comfortable.
I used to work in nursing homes many many years ago when feeding tubes were common in these cases . It was a miserable existence for these poor people, that could last years .
I’m sorry . I hope your aunt can let go .
My 95 yo mother stopped eating three weeks ago. She had CHF and the disease caused fluid build up in her abdomen. She was miserable and feeling lousy all the time and unable to walk and had arthritis. She gave up because she knew there was nothing left to fight for. Her body could not be fixed. She died peacefully last Thursday.
I am sorry for the loss of your parents.
I have to agree with everyone else. No feeding tube for your grandma.
It’s normal for appetites to diminish as people approach the end of their lives.
Wishing you peace as you anticipate the loss of your grandmother.
My mil made the choice to stop living and begin dying the day after she saw her last grandchild (one month old whe she saw him). That's what she lived for, the final "to do" on the to-do list. The next morning, she didn't get out of bed and didn't want to eat. We knew what her wishes were and hospice guided us with keeping her comfortable and assuring us she was not starving, just simply starting the process of leaving this life. We offered food for a few days and she refused. Her choice. I think somehow God gives a special measure of grace to the mind as the body goes through a natural dying process so that there is peace. I do know that when I swabbed her mouth to keep it moist, she'd clamp down on those swabs and suck them. In retrospect, I wish I had swabbed more often.