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Each state might be different, under my state law, it says if the person doesn't have a POA, then the next of kin would have rights to the records. If the person is married, this would be the spouse. Also, a person who can prove they provided care for the person would have rights.

You can look under your specific state laws, and also need to check to see what constitutes proof of care if yours is worded this way.
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if it was me I would speak with an elder lawyer. you are in a catch 22 right now. you need to find out who is his power of attorney , and or what restrictions has he put into place. an elder lawyer can help in many ways with this problem. my mom was in the hospital getting better from a UTI . I went to see her and she was in the intensive care unit. they said she stopped breathing three different times and no one would tell me why. the lawyer was able to get copies of all the medical files involving my mom. it turns out they did some type of surgery without consent....sometimes you are better getting some one who knows the ropes to help than to try and handle it on your own. good luck...
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This is a difficult and odd situation. He may have had a heart attack or stroke, stopped breathing, and then lapsed into a coma. I bet if estranged legal wife showed up at the NH and spoke with the head nurse, they would give her a little information about his condition - at least a medical diagnosis. As somebody asked, "who is paying the nursing home?" Somebody must have signed some kind of legal papers to get him admitted and see that the bill is paid, even if by Medicaid. It did not happen by magic.
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I'm a bit confused here, sorry.

I went through this situation a year ago Dec 2016 with my Mother, this is what I experienced.

1. Mom is married, so my step-father is able to get all the information he wants. He has Alzheimer's, so he realky doesn't know what to ask or discuss with the doctor(s)
2. In 2004, our Mother asked me to fly home to help get all of her legal issues in order so as to eliminate siblings from arguing and trying things she doesn't want them to possess
3. I helped her by writhing a Codicil (amendment) to her Will so she didn't have to redo everything
4. She had my placed as sole beneficiary to the house with instructions for distribution of money after sale of the house
5. Had her Living Will made out with the input of my Uncle, her youngest brother, giving my older sister the ability to have her admitted to the hospital, but I am listed as the person to decide if the plug is to be disconnected
6. The Medical POA had me listed as #1 contact and Uncle #2

Scenario: this was all done while we lived out of State and still do. Older sister moves back in with Mom about 6 months later 2004.

Fast forward 2016, Dec.
1. Get text from sister Mom in hospital, nothing more except she would give more detail later.
***Sister still living with Mom***
2. I finally called when I had not heard from sister 1 day later. Told that Mom had issue with diabetes and was not functioning with basic psych testing
3. Called hospital to get more info, asked who had Medical POA, I do, but it's at Mom's in folder with legal papers (she would not let me have it, told you know where to find it), was able to get information by passing HIPPA because they did not know who had POA
4. Talked with Uncle who went immediately to hospital as sister did not tell Mom's brothers
5. Uncle asked Mom's permission 3 different times to get all of the legal papers because he knew that I was the one that was placed in charge
6. Uncle could not find papers and next door neighbor stayed in the house the whole time Aunt/Uncle were there, NONE. OF HIS BUSINESS
7. After 2 weeks, hospital cannot provide my with info because sister, brother (flew out from TN) now had Medical POA😨
8. Sister insisted that the psych tests be given only in AM because that's when Mom is more aware....Sister, it's called Sundowner's!!!
9. State law requires ALL siblings to discuss before any decision is made...Sister purposely left me out of this....Called gaining control fraudulently when subject is not fully aware of what's going on
10. Sister convinced Mom I was the one keeping her in hospital and getting guardianship...NOT
11. Went home Jan 2017 to 'visit Mom and get things resolved.
12. 1st day, go to see Mom, not home. Nosey neighborbwalks up to me like he owns the place, I asked him where Mom was....realized who I was then.
13. Mom taken to hospital around 6:00 AM by ambulance...no call or text from sister and this was 2:00 pm
14. Escorted to Mom's room, sister did not know I was coming (commercial scene) look on face...PRICELESS
15. Nurse asking Mom questions, couldn't answer, sister goes in and starts answering for Mom.
16. I had called Uncle before I got to hospital and he was there not long after me.
17. I went into Mom's room because I could hear sister give answers that were ever so wrong. Nurse asked MOM if she was a DNR, she didn't understand. Sister asked what DNR meant, said she wasn't, I leaned over bed told nurse that she was. Sister asked how do I know...because I have copy of Living Will, why didn't you bring with you(?). Should be in Mom's file sister/why should I bring with me to just visit
18. Sorry, just situations to expect FYI
19. Uncle gave me Mom's original Will(s) which include the Codicil, beneficiary Deed certified by State
20. Wills do not become outdated as my sister believes, she cant find, have Mom redo so "we" do lose all of this to the State (probate State). Sister told by Soc Service this. I've dealt with probate issues during 30+ yes in banking back home...don't tell sister how wrong she is on all counts
21. Found that sister had fraudulently got Mom to sign new beneficiary Deed. Joke is on her and other 2 siblings...Will be priceless especially for this sister
22. Have been in contact with Estate lawyer, have researched ALL case law regarding these issues (don't forget about Notary laws people).
23. 99.9999% will go to Probate Court. Lawyer said to let my sister do what she wants. Start with the newest Will as argument to Judge, them produce everything I have...end of her fraudulent scheming.
24. Immediately kick her out of house, have locksmith with me, give her time period to get "her" things only her things out of house have police there. None of the siblings allowed inside until I do what State Law requires.
25. MEDICAL POAs ARE VALID ACROSS THE COUNTRY. YOU DO NOT NEED TO LIVE IN SAME STATE TO HAVE POA.

IF you are able to see your Father even if he's in the hospital or another facility

1. Have his doctor present so he can evaluate while you're visiting.
2. Have Soc Services present too so that you will have 2 witnesses who will be able to attest your Father has mental capacity to make decisions so as to be able to sign a POA naming you.
3. You MAY be able to have it legally documented that it cannot be changed to anyone else without your knowledge and YOU MUST be present with witnesses to be sure that is what your Father wants before any changes.

Please, go to your State's government websites and RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH EVERYTHING.

IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO AFFORD AN ATTORNEY (believe it or not, they all do not understand their own speciality and can scam you just as easily as anyone else) GET A MEMBERSHIP WITH A COMPANY THAT HAS ATTORNEYS, DOCTORS, PSYCH AND EVEN VETERNARIANS, WHO ARE ABLE TO ANSWER LEGAL QUESTIONS!

I have a membership to one because of my sister. I can review the Estate attorney list and choose who I want to present my question(s). If I am not comfortable with the answer(s), I can choose another.

I never ask a legal question without providing the State statutes, my understanding of the law as I read it AND this attorney I present my questions, always reviews what I have sent him, corrects my understanding, then provided me with how to handle should I end up in Probate Court.
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I'm a bit confused here, sorry.

I went through this situation a year ago Dec 2016 with my Mother, this is what I experienced.

1. Mom is married, so my step-father is able to get all the information he wants. He has Alzheimer's, so he really doesn't know what to ask or discuss with the doctor(s)
2. In 2004, our Mother asked me to fly home to help get all of her legal issues in order so as to eliminate siblings from arguing and trying to get things she doesn't want them to possess
3. I helped her by with writing a Codicil (amendment) to her Will so she didn't have to redo everything
4. She had me placed as sole beneficiary to the house with instructions for distribution of money after sale of the house
5. Had her Living Will made out with the input of my Uncle, her youngest brother, giving my older sister the ability to have her admitted to the hospital, but I am listed as the person to decide if the plug is to be disconnected
6. The Medical POA had me listed as #1 contact and Uncle #2

Scenario: this was all done while we lived out of State and still do. Older sister moves back in with Mom about 6 months later 2004.

Fast forward 2016, Dec.
1. Get text from sister Mom in hospital, nothing more except she would give more detail later.
***Sister still living with Mom***
2. I finally called when I had not heard from sister 1 day later. Told that Mom had issue with diabetes (actually a very extreme case of UTI, will never go 100% away) and was not functioning with basic psych testing, UTIs effect memory, brain function (daughter is RN)
3. Called hospital to get more info, asked who had Medical POA, I do, but it's at Mom's in folder with legal papers (she would not let me have it, told you know where to find it), was able to get information by passing HIPPA because they did not know who had POA
4. Talked with Uncle who went immediately to hospital as sister did not tell Mom's brothers
5. Uncle asked Mom's permission 3 different times to get all of the legal papers because he knew that I was the one that was placed in charge
6. Uncle could not find papers and next door neighbor stayed in the house the whole time Aunt/Uncle were there, NONE OF HIS BUSINESS
7. After 2 weeks, hospital cannot provide me with info because sister and brother (flew in from TN) now had Medical POA😨
8. Sister insisted that the psych tests be given only in AM because that's when Mom is more aware....Sister, it's called Sundowner's!!!
9. State law requires ALL siblings to discuss before any decision is made...Sister purposely left me out of this....Called gaining control fraudulently when subject is not fully aware of what's going on
10. Sister convinced Mom I was the one keeping her in hospital and getting guardianship...NOT
11. Went home Jan 2017 to 'visit Mom and get things resolved.
12. 1st day, go to see Mom, not home. Nosey neighbor walks up to me like he owns the place, I asked him where Mom was....realized who I was then.
13. Mom taken to hospital around 6:00 AM by ambulance...no call or text from sister and this was 2:00 pm
14. Escorted to Mom's room, sister did not know I was coming (commercial scene) look on face...PRICELESS
15. Nurse asking Mom questions, couldn't answer, sister goes in and starts answering for Mom.
16. I had called Uncle before I got to the hospital and he was there not long after me.
17. I went into Mom's room because I could hear sister give answers that were ever so wrong i.e. who is President, sister says Mom doesn't know/doesn't care. Nurse asked MOM if she was a DNR, she didn't understand. Sister asked what DNR meant, said she wasn't, I leaned over bed told nurse that she was. Sister asked how do I know...because I have copy of Living Will, why didn't you bring with you(?). Should be in Mom's file sister/why should I bring with me to just visit
18. Sorry, just situations to expect FYI
19. Uncle gave me Mom's original Will(s) which include the Codicil, beneficiary Deed certified by State
20. Wills do not become outdated as my sister believes, she can't find, have Mom redo so "we" don't  lose all of this to the State (probate State). Sister told by Soc Service this. I've dealt with probate issues during 30+ yes in banking back home...didn't tell sister how wrong she is on all counts
21. Found that sister had fraudulently  Mom sign new beneficiary Deed. Joke is on her and other 2 siblings...Will be priceless especially for this sister
22. Have been in contact with Estate lawyer, have researched ALL case law regarding these issues (don't forget about Notary laws people).
23. 99.9999% will go to Probate Court. Lawyer said to let my sister do what she wants. Start with the newest Will as argument to Judge, then produce everything I have...end of her fraudulent scheming. Can have sister criminally charged too
24. Immediately kick her out of house, have locksmith with me, give her time period to get "her" things only her things out of house, have police there. None of the siblings allowed inside until I do what State Law requires.
25. MEDICAL POAs ARE VALID ACROSS THE COUNTRY. YOU DO NOT NEED TO LIVE IN SAME STATE TO HAVE POA.

IF you are able to see your Father even if he's in the hospital or another facility

1. Have his doctor present so he can evaluate while you're visiting.
2. Have Soc Services present too so that you will have 2 witnesses who will be able to attest your Father has mental capacity to make decisions so as to be able to sign a POA naming you.
3. You MAY be able to have it legally documented that it cannot be changed to anyone else without your knowledge and YOU MUST be present with witnesses to be sure that is what your Father wants before any changes.

Just because your Grandmother is still alive, per HIPPA, she can't get any medical info; ONLY YOUR MOTHER as she is legally married and spouses are exempt from HIPPA in this scenario.

Please, go to your State's government websites and RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH EVERYTHING.

IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO AFFORD AN ATTORNEY (believe it or not, they all do not understand their own speciality and can scam you just as easily as anyone else) GET A MEMBERSHIP WITH A COMPANY THAT HAS ATTORNEYS, DOCTORS, PSYCH AND EVEN VETERNARIANS, WHO ARE ABLE TO ANSWER LEGAL QUESTIONS!

I have a membership with one because of my sister. I can review the Estate attorney list and choose who I want to present my question(s). If I am not comfortable with the answer(s), I can choose another.

I never ask a legal question without providing the State statutes, my understanding of the law as I read it AND this attorney I present my questions, always reviews what I have sent him, corrects my understanding, then provided me with how to handle should I end up in Probate Court.

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!!
My sister has a manila folder with like 3 sheets of paper claiming she keeps track of everything.
I HAVE A 2" BINDER FULL OF EVERYTHING STARTING IN DEC 2016 TO CURRENT DAY. EACH TIME I TALK WITH MOM AND REPORTING CONCERNS TO APPROPRIATE AGENCIES WHEN NECESSARY. I ALSO KEEP MY UNCLE INFORMED WITH ANY DIRE CHANGES I NOTICE WITH MOM.
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Fortunately I get along very well with my sibs - saves a lot of wear and tear.
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As this thread is 2 yrs old I assume the OP has now resolved her difficulties. I very much doubt that anyone in the ER did anything to induce Dad's condition. These things happen all the time and the hospital treated appropriately as ther was no DNA on file. If the man talks incoherently 99% of the time and does not always recognize family members it is doubtful he is still mentally competent. Alcoholic frequently suffer liver problems and a psychosis which presents like a dementia
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