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This man sends my elderly friend money thru the mail to her from another woman he says he uses so no one can turn him in. She then takes this check to the bank and deposits it in her bank account then transfer money from her checking into bit coin and transfers that to him. It’s confusing but she says she loves him. This has been going on for the past 8 years. She has never spoken to him on the phone. Has no idea what his voice sounds like or what he looks like. She sends him money that’s hers, he has her checking account number, her credit card numbers and she sold her car and sent him the money. What can I do? I hate this is happing to her and she’s scared she’ll be killed if he gets mas at her for telling him no.

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I would report this to the police. Particularly if she is afraid for her safety.
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Wow! 8 years? Interesting…

Do you suspect that your friend has dementia or extremely naive to have agreed to this situation?

Does she have children that you could pass this information along to?

Do you even know if what she is telling you is factual?

Wishing you and your friend well.
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Report it to her bank, the police and any anti- fraud agency you can find.
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I walked in on my mom last week she was talking on the phone to someone that said he was her grandson and in an accident. I got mad, shouldnt of yelled at her to hang up, but what the heck , is wrong with people going after the helples, makes me so upset.

She told me after, she new he was a scammer, it didn't sound like she new at all. I told her when you know it's a scammer never keep them on the phone. Hang up asap, because the longer your on the more information they can get. I don't think she understands though

I have no answer for you other than what has all ready been said.

It's just so sad!
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HI Esmiralda - sorry to hear this...it sounds terrible. Your friend claims she loves a man that she never met and has never spoken to and is also afraid that she'll be killed if she doesn't continue being extorted by him - he's a fraud and this needs to cease immediately.

You should explain to your friend that she's putting herself in jeopardy by doing what she's doing - it's very suspicious depositing checks for him and then sending him money - it's like money laundering. I'd be surprised if these checks he's sending are even real. The whole thing is bad.

She needs to contact her bank and have the account closed and open a new account. Same thing with her credit cards - inform the credit card company and get new cards - and NOT to provide this information to this man - her banking and financial information should remain PRIVATE.

Your friend needs to stop communicating with this man - if she needs one last message, she needs to tell him that she's now bankrupt and has nothing left - then block him. If it's easier, be there as a support while she handles these steps. And she should also notify the police if she feels unsafe.

I hope your friend feels empowered after taking the appropriate measures rather than continue being exploited. It's no way to live.
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brandee Mar 30, 2024
This is good info. Close the accounts. Notify the bank, the police, the fbi and her family.
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This sounds like Money Laundering.

I think I would first call my local Police, or crime reporting hotline for advice. Find out HOW to report this eg phone, in person, at a bank?

Being elderly, sitting down & discussing face to face may work better than a phone report?

You know your friend.. would they gain the confidenece to report this if you accompanied them?

They could go to gain INFORMATION before formally reporting.

That's what a freind of mine did with a tricky situation. The Police advised her of the options.. one was filing a formal complaint. This could lead to a charge & the possibility of attending court as a witness. She reluctantly decided against that to protect her identity BUT by speaking up she was given other ways to change the situation (which worked).
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I have a friend who’s been going through something similar with her mother for a few years now. She went to her mom’s bank and they quickly told her they’d noticed suspicious activity on her accounts. The bank manager called the mom and had her come in, talked to her about adding her daughter to her accounts. She agreed to do so as she saw the manager as “official” and someone whose advice she needed to follow. The fraud still went on but my friend was able to limit the damage. Just recently, mom fell and went to rehab. Her adult children seized on the opportunity to take her phone and shut down the scammers. It took literally years and she’d lost thousands. Mom still believes the scammers weren’t bad people, and there’s no dementia diagnosis. This can be undone, but certainly not quickly or easily. It’s shameful
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The only power you have is to either
1) tell her PoA, adult child or some other family emember;
2) report her to law enforcement and hope that it ends the money laundering, if that's what this is.

If she doesn't have a PoA or any family:

Do you suspect she might have the beginnings of cogntive impairment? Falling for these types of scams and hanging onto to the romantic delusion is a very common dementia behavior.

Have you tried contacting her bank to let them know your concern?

I wouldn't bother warning her first because she'll just alert the scammer.

Report fraud to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC): ReportFraud.ftc.gov
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I too think thisvis laundering money. Its actually mail fraud. If your friend has family, they should report the scam. If she has no family, then u seeva lawyer to see what can be done for this poor soul since she has no idea what she is doing. To be honest, I wonder why her bank has not caught on.
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You should urge your friend to report this scheme to the US Postal Inspection Service as this seems to be mail fraud going on.
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