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If a test indicates he is not very competent, then keep reporting the to APS. Or, take him to a certified elder law attorney, who is trained to interview him to asses for capacity.
If not, he should be able to live where he wants and use HIS money as he sees fit.
Can he pay for AL on his own?
You can also call APS and report the neglect that is going on so they can go and investigate.
However, at 92 I would allow the wife of this gentleman to care for him in his last days. Falls are inevitable. Placement in this fragile state exposes him to sepsis from any number of viruses and bacteria.
I would pull back, offer HELP only and not put judgements of the care unless your father is giving evidence he is hungry and not being fed. Many elders have very little to no appetite at the last weeks of their lives.
None of us here can know the details of what is happening in your own family. You will have to do the best you can, but for me the best place is providing help and support to both these folks. You are not the POA, and you would no wrest the POA away from wife without SERIOUS evidence of abuse. Best now to try to get along in my opinion.
Since he's been in rehab he has had pneumonia and UTI. I'm afraid you are correct that this may be the beginning of the end. If he makes it out of rehab his wife will have to decide where he goes after that.
Being appointed as a POA does not mean someone can make all decisions. You must read the POA, as they will be limited to certain matters. And, in fact, as long as your father wants to make decisions for himself, that is his right. It cannot be overridden by a POA.
As someone else mentioned, you could attempt to get a guardian assigned, but that is an arduous process, and you may not be successful. Plus a guardianship often have their own problems. I would only attempt a guardianship as a very, very last resort.
Does your dad have a walker? If not, get him one. Maybe a cane with a "foot" for balance.
In the end, you may have to relinquish the idea that you can intervene to suit your wishes. Think about this: You child marries someone you think spends too much money, or drinks too much. To what extent would you insert yourself? You father married this woman, and unless she is demented - you may just have to offer your assistance and insights, but find a way to be okay if they "do their own thing." It is their lives.
They have done those competency test on him as late as last week (he's in rehab again, this time for a broken pelvis due to another fall.) I was there for it. He got about 75% of the questions right even with the nurse hinting the answers to him. So, he's not really that bad mentally, forgetful but able to think. And she is not mean to him, just neglectful and busy with her own life so he doesn't get the care he needs. I just feel helpless and hate to see him like this. It's almost like he lives alone.
I suppose the best answer is to try to help when asked and let them make the decisions on their own for the rest of their lives.
Nobody likes to see their parents' lives dwindle away especially when your opinions for what's good for them are different from theirs. But, as you said, he married her and gave her POA so at some point he trusted her to do the right thing.
Again, thank you all for your help and support.
Beware of Guardianships!!!
"When a judge agreed, Hulse lost basic freedoms: He couldn’t spend his own money or decide where to live. The lifelong Republican who had just cast his ballot in the 2020 presidential primary even lost his right to vote. He was quickly moved to a nursing home. His new guardian, a woman he had never met, began selling his house and his belongings.
Hulse had joined 1 million Americans in a guardianship, a court-sanctioned arrangement created to protect vulnerable people — some young, but many elderly. The system has been widely criticized for inviting abuse and theft. Local judges give extraordinary power to a guardian, including access to the bank account of the person in their care, despite a lack of effective ways to monitor them. When excessive billing, missing money and other abuses are discovered, guardians are rarely punished. Prosecutors are keenly aware they were appointed by a judge."