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Good Luck with this. It's hard if the whole family isn't on board.
You could take some of the load off him by researching some skilled nursing facilxties in the area and presenting him with a couple of options. No doubt he and his family are overwhelmed right now, so taking that part of the load might make him amenable to making the change.
If your brother doesn't wish to do his POA work and wishes to change things, and your Mom suffers from dementia those changes cannot be done any longer. If there is to be another guardian that will be legal work you need to get done with the brother and an attorney. Your Mother's funds pay for that to be done.
Don't take on more than you can handle. Doing so has left you painted into a corner and you will have to be HONEST and BLUNT to get out of it. Tell them only what you can and can't do. As to the placement, that is currently on your brother's plate. I wish you good luck.
Blunt & direct seems to work to get the message across best.
Use the forum to get advice, settle your thoughts, then voice them. Speak UP & speak CLEARLY so your Mother gets the care she needs.
Your brother could feel he doesn't want to put Mom in a nursing home. Has he at least visited a nursing home? They aren't the asylums of decades ago. His Mom could even improve while being there. If brother wants to visit with Mom, he can whenever he likes, even have meals with her. The Staff are trained professionals.
You could mention to your brother that close to 40% of family caregivers die leaving behind the love one they were caring due to the demands of the job. Not good odds. Then what? His wife becomes a widow, his daughter loses her father, you lose a brother, and your Mom loses a son.
Do as much research as you can to find one or more that would have the ability to become a long term solution as well. Ideally, they would have the capacity to switch to Medicaid if necessary.
Share the information with the POA because you are concerned about what will happen if someone else has a crisis.
Then, follow some of the other advice about giving notice. Or just embrace the next crisis and refuse to start up again.
If the POA prefers to pay overtime, use another agency, or whatever, let him.
Firstly, Brother needs to get over himself!
He is NOT almighty - he cannot stop his Mother aging.
Secondary, Brother should get over his notion of *only family* can help Mother.
Or even worse.... only the women..?
He does not get to bully the family womenfolk to be the family servants!
Finally, if he holds any STUPID EGO IDEAS of I am the PERFECT SON because I will never put my Mother in a 'Home'.
Just stop that rubbish now.
He would be a better man to look past hisself. Stop hindering & actually HELP - by finding a plan that works for EVERYONE in the plan. Not just HIM.
End.