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my older sister should be helping me, she lives about 45 mins away but she has stopped coming over and finds all sorts of excuses.....covid was a godsend of an excuse..never got a visit to help me for 2 years
i will maybe have to risk falling out with my sister who keeps promising to come over to shower her...my sis actually worked with the elderly here in uk glasgow and everytime i want to meet and talk about care she makes an excuse not to meet plus tells me we cant afford a care home
maybe god will help me as i have nowhere else to turn to...she refuses to see doctors to get assesed or even for checkups to her sight
just to give you one example...i made my sister help before covid, i made her take my mum to get a cattaract out...she screamed the place down like a kid not wanting to go to school
i was very sick at the time so couldnt do it...my sister didnt take her back to get the other cattaract out which was painless...my mum is now nearly blind
i actually dont like my mother and i should leave this house..just dissappear as she wants me to leave now as she says 'i just like living on my own' even though i pay all the bills..get her cigarettes, which is about 30 a day..and so many other things
i think i need to stop asking my sisters advice and see what help i can get, but they will just be asked to leave the house by a very violent nasty person ie the person i call my mother and to be honest i wont get any luck for wishing she wouldnt wake up the next day
thank you all for your replies and prayers
bobby
In the meantime, if your mother is suffering from dementia/Alzheimer's, that's why she won't wash herself; they get very obstinate about doing so, due to the brain damage and their hatred of water/washing up, for some odd reason. Whatever personality they had seems to MAGNIFY with dementia; so if mum was a bully her whole life, well now with dementia, she's an even bigger bully. That's what I saw with my own mom who suffered from dementia; it was a terrible thing to witness and the things she said to me were horrible. But she lived in a Memory Care Assisted Living facility so I was able to keep my exposure to her minimized.
Is there any way you can use mum's money to hire in home help to relieve you and perhaps help her to shower? It would help you to have some time to yourself to rest and relax, if nothing else.
Sending prayers your way and a big hug this afternoon.
I'm just not sure what you are wanting? Mom to be different? Sister to take over Mom's care?
It does read like nothing will change for you.. unless you start the changes yourself.
Quite frankly, I wouldn't wait for God to sort this out, nor for strangers’ prayers either. I’d contact every Scots agency that has experts ready, willing and paid to deal with this. I wouldn't waste the last years of health and life in a thankless task.
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/scotland/information-advice/care-and-support/advice-for-carers/
thanks for the link and i will start looking into it without my familys help from now on.
Contact us for to handle this situation.
https://www.agingparentsupport.com
You could make the same decision. You seem to want to be a martyr, though. Stage 4 cancer?
Do you live with your mother? Or her with you?
As long as someone won't take action to improve their situation by changing themselves, they will get nowhere. You can't change other people.
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