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If you and sister disagree about end of life care, that is a nightmare.
Your mother has dementia. Did she not do an advance directive for health care at any point?
Did she not discuss with anyone her end of life wishes?
You need now, as POA to discuss with the doctor Palliative Care and End of Life Hospice care. CHF with a failing heart at this age will almost certainly qualify this poor lady already suffering with dementia.
As I said, two co-equal POAs who disagree about end of life care, along with yet another sister who is the caregiver? No advance directive ever having been done? That is my idea of a true nightmare.
Your caregiver sister is the one doing the actual caregiving at this point.
You sisters need to GET TOGETHER and speak about the age, the condition of a failing heart, and a plan for end of life care that you can agree upon.
I can tell you that no doctor in his right mind (or hers) would suggest heroic care on a person in this condition and of this age.
The nurse will make weekly visits to make sure everything is alright.
The CNA will come 2 to 3 times a week to give mom a bath or shower and to order supplies.
Of course, at her age they will always find something wrong, the latest was that she had Renal Failure, stage 4, they suggested dialysis....they were kidding right?
Nope, we just laughed and left,, Ciao, till we don't meet again!
What does 'Not wanting to go to hospital' mean to your Mother?
Not be away from family? To remain in her comfort zone? (Family can visit in hospital & people can be made comfortable.)
Some will specifically state they wish to die at home. This also may be due to wanting to feel safe at home, be comfortable. Sometimes this is possible. Sometimes it is not. How many hands-on caregivers there are is a big factor. As is length of final stages.
Sending kind thoughts your way.
All of us kids were made aware of it, and we all supported her decision.