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I recently transitioned my 95-yr old Mom out of driving by having her primary care doctor write an order for a virtual driving assessment through their OT (occupational therapy) department. It worked really slick and I wasn't the one to break the news that she failed those tests, which had to go into her medical records and then her primary doc (who is a mandated reporter) was required to report that info to our Dept of Public Safety...who sent my Mom a letter telling her her license is now cancelled.
Call his primary care doc to see if you have this option for your Father. You can tell him a "therapeutic fib" to get him to go to such appointment ("The DMV requires this test in order to retain your driving privileges). The OT gives a MOCA test (for judgment/executive brain function) and reflex testing. My Mom turned out to be high risk.
If your Father doesn't have a PoA but then gets a medical diagnosis of cognitive impairment, this may cause a future problem in managing his affairs and making decisions in his best interests. A person with no PoA who is cognitively impaired may very likely end up as a ward of a court-appointed legal guardian.
A primary doc is the best person to do the basic, first-level cognitive testing. But is should also be accompanied by other tests of other health issues, many of which can produce dementia-like symptoms (such as a UTI, which is treatable).
Not knowing the specifics, it's difficult to answer your question. If you don't want him leaving, yes, you'll have to make sure he can't. If that means taking the truck, that's what you have to do. If he really wants to leave, he'll find another way, truck or no truck.
I seriously doubt that he's "fine most days." Whoever is supposed to take care of him needs help because eyes need to be on him 24/7. In order to keep him safe, that may mean care in a facility. Otherwise you risk what happens to many other elders when they start wandering, which is disappearing down the interstate, getting off and becoming confused, then peeing in a condominium guard shack. This has happened with the fathers of two separate friends. It could have been worse, like ending up in a canal with vultures swooping around. That has also happened to people I know about.
Take this seriously. It's more than taking the truck.
Please either take away his keys or the truck so he can't kill or seriously injure some innocent person on the roadways.
I presume he has dementia and that has been determined by a medical provider?
When you say he is 'fine most days,' you do not tell us how he is / how he functions the other / rest of the other days, which is important for us to know.
While you'll want to go to DMV, be sure to have legal authority to make decisions in this regard. Equally, if he is determined ... change the key on his key chain (if he has one ... often we don't need keys anymore) ... take a part out of the truck ...
Everything depends on how he functions day-to-day.
If you feel he is in danger, by all means - take appropriate action for his safety / welfare ... and expect back-lash. He won't be happy ... he may say he can drive fine. This is very normal - this resistance. It is a huge loss to him to not be able to drive (does he drive at all?) - so calmly, clearly, set boundaries with immense compassion when discussing with him.
Often common sense approach won't matter to him. i.e., 'we want to keep you safe.' I wouldn't bother with that - although, again, it depends on his cognitive functioning/abilities. And the relationship / communication you have.
Thank you for asking. (I just came back fr a LOVELY trip with a friend who is close to 90. While MOST of his driving was as good as mine / could be, he potentially got us killed / injured twice. He is aware and concerned - and overall, extremely active and engaged in his life. Still. I'm not ready to go ... nor that way. ... my compassion went out the window at that point.)
Gena / Touch Matters
But you haven't filled us in about your Dad.
So I have a couple of questions for you:
How old is Dad?
Has Dad had a DIAGNOSIS of dementia?
Does Dad live alone or with you?
Do you feel Dad is no longer competent to drive?
Has Dad had any recent DMV testing of driving and written test skills?
What contact have you with Dad's doctors, assuming he sees them.
Thanks for this information and it will so help in attempting to answer your query to us. I surely do welcome you to Forum.
My own husband when in the early stages of dementia, believed like a 10 year old, that nothing bad would ever happen because nothing bad had ever happened before. Nothing could persuade him otherwise. Even after he backed into a garbage truck and I used that (along with some creative lying) to get rid of his car, he STILL denies it was his fault and thinks someone is trying to “screw” him!
If you are legitimately afraid for his safety and the safety of others you are going to have to forget trying to appeal to his higher self which he may no longer possess, and use your own creativity.
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