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As for your daughter's stock, under Medicaid rules a child's assets are never subject to claims by the state and never come into the picture at all when a parent's eligibility is determined.
By law, Required Minimum Distributions must commence by April 1st the year after the owner turns 70 1/2. This means that in all likelihood you are currently taking distributions and the 401k principal is not a countable asset. It will be required, however, that the distributions be taken monthly.
You DO NOT have to purchase a single premium immediate annuity!
Your situation is different.....if your DH needs to go into a NH and you don't then you become the "community spouse" for a Medicaid application. A community spouse situation is very very different that for a widow/er who applies for Medicaid. Each state manages Medicaid under their state specific rules but under an overall federal umbrella. So realistically you need to speak to an elder law attorney who is in your state so that whatever you do, or don't do, works within your states framework. Oh and community doesn't refer to community property, rather it refers to being in the community, living in the community....
For CS it is really important to understand the difference in "income" and "assets" for Medicaid and how they dovetail when there is a CS. Also it's super important to be realistic on what you anticipate your needs and lifetime to be. Yeah, it's a hard subject but you have to do this. If you are a younger and healthy 2nd or 3rd wife, then you are likely to outlive him and you will need as much income and assets to enable you to do this. If you all are about the same age but you are healthy, it's much the same but you need to think about needing to pay for NH much sooner and how it could be done.
For CS it is really important that if $ needs to be moved or spent, that it all be done BEFORE and clear through the bank BEFORE you apply for Medicaid. CS does a "snapshot" day based on the day of application or day 1 of NH admission and all the $ is benchmarked & fixed based on that day. This is super critical.
In general, for CS the state does not expect you to impoverish yourself. You are allowed to keep a certain amount of "assets" to enable you to remain in the community. However, some assets are joint assets - your 401K would probably be considered a joint asset and would have to be spent down to whatever your state has as the maximum asset for a CS. CS have a formula - CSRA - community spouse resource allocation (or allowance) that varies by the state. Most states have the CSRA at 109K but other states have it at much, much lower. Really you need an experienced attorney because you don't want to make a costly and irreversable mistake.
There are some things that are easily done if you are over the limit. Like you are allowed 1 car. So if you or your daughter will be driving for the near future, then buy a nice dependable new car in your name. Alot of couples have 2 cars and then turn both in and get a new one & pay cash. Also buy preneed funeral and burial for both you and your DH. If either of you need dental work, do that as it is expensive and rarely paid for by Medicaid. For my mom, we spend down over 20K in dental alone.New eyeglasses and hearing aids are another good spend down. Ditto for tricked out walkers or wheelchairs as Medicaid's ones are super minimal.
It is good that you are thinking about this now and before you are in a panic mode and need NH placement for your DH. Involve you daughter in the discussion along with your DH too. Good luck and keep a sense of humor in all this if you can.
Good luck get the advice of the elder care lawyer but be prepared for all the restrictions once Medicaid is in the game.
Elzabeth
I don't like the system, but it is better than some. I have a friend whose husband needed to be cared for in a NH and they took her retirement to pay.
Seemed unfair to me. But I guess I will have to divorce the old guy if it gets to that.
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