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You don't want to mess with her Social Security Direct Deposit.
You definitely want that tax deduction! Save all proof of what you paid directly from your money.
I would also encourage you to NOT let the facility withdraw funds from any account, do a scheduled bank check or EFT that you have to do, not them.
The reason for not giving them access, if there is a problem or a move, you could be dealing with them taking money they are not owed.
I would require a bill monthly that breaks down the charges for tax purposes.
Your mom is very blessed to have you. May The Lord be with you both during this season of life.
I have an Aunt who is 105 and has no health problems or conditions except an eye issue, so nothing that's going to take her any time soon. Is there a lot of longevity on your Mom's side? You should consult with a financial planner to extrapolate cost scenarios if she lives to 100 or beyond.
If your Mom is in reasonably sound mind and body, get her to add your name to her banking accounts, especially the one with Social Security and the one that any bills will be paid out of. If the bank accounts are in the name of a trust, ensure there is a successor trustee. Should your Mom become unable to sign her name to checks or authorize you (which I know is hard to believe), that joint ownership will allow you to pay her bills and accept money on her behalf.
If you are not a person who is authorized to see her Social Security information, do the appropriate paperwork or call in so that she can verbally make the authorization to authorize you permanently. A POA is not recognized by Social Security.
If your Mom becomes unable to talk or verbally authorize you in the future (due to dementia or any emergency situation), you will be incapable of accessing her funds or discussing her situation unless you are the co-owner or authorized to discuss her Medicare on her behalf.
With all the scams that are going on with the elderly, banks are and should be tightening up the rules as to who can access the elderly person's money. Once the person dies, it becomes even more uncertain unless a person has been given authorization by the owner, ahead of time.
My Mom passed at the end of December. She has a very simple estate with no question on who is going to get what. She owns a single piece of property, which is rented. In my state, we are waiting for the county to give us the authorization to go ahead with the division of her real estate, over 7 months later. Luckily, my Mom put my sister on her checking account, so HOA fees, property taxes, insurance, etc. can still be paid with authorization from my sister. My Mom had a CD which just renewed at nearly 0 percent, because her estate is not settled and she gave no one the authorization to liquidate the account so that it could earn higher interest at renewal time.
So I suggest that you do what other people have suggested: 1) add your name to her accounts as co-owner or POD and/or make sure you have a successor trustee named if anything is in the name of her trust 2) keep your money and her money separate 3) keep track of all the bills and who paid what. If she is going to go on Medicaid, you will need all that documentation for the application.
Even with my husband and I having joint accounts, we went through the process to be sure I had access to his funds because he began to decline physically and cognitively. We decided to do it sooner rather than later because it was easier with him signing the application agreeing rather than needing SS to appoint me later.
Our credit union told us exactly how to set up a special checking account to receive his SS funds. Legally the funds have to be used for his benefit so I set up withdrawals for the mortgage, utilities, and other major monthly household expenses. When we begin to have out-of-pocket caregiving expenses, I will then substitute those expenses from that account. This way at any point I have to justify how his money was used, all I have to do is pull the statements for the account. We have joint accounts to keep other income and expenses totally separate.
Check out: https://www.ssa.gov/payee/faqrep.htm?tl=7%2C8%2C9%2C10%2C11%2C15%2C18%2C22%2C27%2C34
First thing to do is you MUST get an elder law attorney! Boy, are they helpful and know all the ins and outs of the laws with regards to Medicaid, SS, investments and how to protect them, etc.
I give you credit in the kindness and sacrifice you’ve shown to take your life and devote it to your mother. But, you need to give that up and think of what will happen if YOU become incapacitated and need your money? Get an elder law attorney as soon as you can! Good luck to you!