What is reasonable behavior of the Administration? How has anyone dealt wityMother went through a period of being scared. She was having nightmares. She told me that she had thoughts she didn't understand. She has a visual hallucination of a man in her closet and a hand coming out of the closet and grabbing the door. Just prior to this mild hysteria, the maintenance man had me wondering about what was going on. He stopped at Mother's door and in a very seductive manner asked her if there was anything she wanted to talk about. I stepped forward so he could see she wasn't alone. He left the doorway. I fault myself for not speaking up then. I was floored and took it as a sign I should watch closely what was going on in Mother's life in PC. Mother's fear and anxiety kicked in big time. She had visual hallucinations. She was having nightmares of a man in her closet. She told me she was scared and nervous. All she wanted to do was sleep. She was withdrawing. Then, one morning I noticed the clock in Mom's room was fixed. Mom told me, "last night the maintenance man was here."There was also a small yogurt container that someone had placed next to her bed. We talked. She made no accusations but she wouldn't. She has always covered up any inappropriate behaviors. I told a RN in PC of Mother being frightened and scared and described how the maintenance man was being inappropriate. He was called to the nurses station. On the way he passed Mother's apartment singing love songs in a loud tone. He stopped by the apartment on the way back. He told two lies. He said he never asked her is she wanted to talk to him. He said he stopped by her apartment in the morning before i got there and fixed her TV and clock. The TV had been fixed the week before. Mother had gotten out of her nightmares and fears since he had been staying away from her. We have no assurances from the facility. She continues to improve. He should have been talked to that he is not a counselor at the facility and that he should stay away from my Mother. Something should be placed in his file that we complained s that other vulnerable grandmas are not approached inappropriately. Yesterday was her best day since last year when she started to decline. I am left disappointed that no one at the facility was equipped to deal with this with more compassion and interest. Also I called the Rape Crises Center and did research on the internet. Sexual harassment in Senior facilities and the senior population does not have the advocates of the younger population. When I made a call to the Rape Crises Center I was told I would be called back. I wish there would be programs through the Rape Crises Center for seniors as there was/is for children and the younger population. There isn't much that I could find except that this is lacking. Any feedback would be appreciated.
I would report your suspicions to the Ombudsman. I would specifically ask the care home ( and make sure the Ombudsman verifies) that the maintenance man has had a background check.
Listen very closely to everything you mom tells you. Residents even those with dementia will sometimes give you clues as to what happened. I had a resident tell me once that she was tired of being married. I knew this resident was a widow and lost her husband over 20 years ago, so I asked her what being married meant to her. She told me that she did not want the man to come and get in bed with her anymore she wanted a divorce. Upon investigation it was found that a male staff person told her they were married so he could have sex with her. So listen very closely to what she tells you and use probing questions when appropriate!
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I would think an immediate investigation would be the minimum. I would hope that they would attempt to identify the veracity of her complaint, identify other potential victims and install safety measures to ensure that a) this can't happen in their facility and b) they can prove it doesn't happen and thereby safeguard the employees from accusations. I am thinking that video cameras would be a good start.
Or, perhaps, mom is on a medication that could be causing her to hallucinate. Even meds to help a person sleep can cause odd dreams.
On the other hand, perhaps moving mom to another facility is long past overdue. I believe you said that this hallucination started a year ago? If you truly believe that your mom has been the victim of sexual harassment, and the administration has not addressed your concern, then leaving mom in that situation makes no sense. Also, your ombudsman, who is a resident advocate, is a phone call away. They are there to mediate and be an unbiased advocate for the residents. What is holding you back?
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