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Is she in a care facility, or in your home?
Someone may at some point need to take control of mail that is causing this much disruption, if your mother has dementia and this is a problem as a result of her diagnosis.
This could get bad at some point. Would your mother make you her POA for banking and financial? I was asked by my brother, diagnosed with probable early Lewy's to do this for him, leaving him a small account of his own with a few thousand in it. That way your Mom can do as she pleases without losing money.
You might consider a field trip with Mom, appointment with her bank's office. I think that would help. Sometimes this can be very dangerous with them sending a lottery check and saying you won, but until you send a tax check for 10,000 or something the funds won't come available. This can be really a losing thing for our seniors.
AARP website has a lot of info for you.
I'll check out aarp
I think your statement about nobody being prepared for cognitive decline in the digital age is absolutely brilliant. This is certainly an issue that should be seeing some serious discussion.
In the meantime, there are certain apps that can be downloaded to your mothers phone which will allow you to monitor all of her online activity. She would not even know. Visit an apple store. They can explain all of this better than I ever could.
”Whoops, Mom. That phone company went under. Here’s a new phone.”
My father and your mother are part of a generation where everyone was trustworthy. They don't understand that people aren't nice today and are out to swindle them. They don't understand that, for all intents and purposes, they should trust no one beyond their circle of family and friends. My dad's misplaced trust had me in a bank for over an hour today. It is frustrating. I monitor as much as I can from five hours away but I can't watch his online activities 24/7.
your mom is a victim of fraud. You should file a police report and check her credit.
Collect the checks and and see who she is conversing with on social media.
how else wiuld she deposit the checks?
There’s a scam.. and I would notify her bank.
i see more advertisements fans warnings about fraud and senior citizens asking for their security numbers.
Mrs. Smith, CONGRATULATIONS!!! You just won the lottery!!! Before we can mail you the check, we need your complete address, phone number, and your social security number so we can file the forms and inform the IRS for you so you don’t get fined.
And we need a clear copy if your government ID
and they may say something about direct deposit into the account which means they have her complete account info.
You may want to freeze her credit line etc..
Mom needs to learn that anyone can be anybody on the internet. Is there any kind of adult daycare she csn attend, Bingo?
STOP HER ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE ON-LINE (block or get her a new computer (?) and phone... and set up w child proof needs. Get someone to help you if you do not know how to do this. She certainly SHOULD NOT HAVE an iphone.
As necessary, take away her phone or learn how to block numbers.
She can scream all she wants.
Learn to understand this is her 'new' brain chemistry 'talking,' not the mom you used to know. It isn't that she doesn't care - she cannot 'care.'
It sounds like she should not be living alone, if she is.
Get her a phone that is very limited in ability.
If you do not have POA or other legal rights as her daughter or son, get this take care of ASAP. Otherwise, she will lose everything - if she hasn't already.
If you are unable to manage / be there / available, find a manager who can deal with all this. If you do not, there will continue to be these unfortunate issues.
She'll stomp her feet and have tantrums. Expect this and do what is needed anyway. Get her puzzles, find volunteers to visit (from a vol agency), caregivers. Help her develop new 'real friends.'
She needs a social worker and much more intervention than what she is apparently getting now. Get all the help(ers) you can.
Gena / Touch Matters
Gena
*Someone mentioned changing the mailing address to your place. That sounds good. Is it doable?
**But she still gave someone bad out there her address. So maybe time for some digital limitations.
Great suggestions from everyone who posted. It’s hard to stay on top of these things and we can’t take anything for granted these days.
It’s better to prevent a scam than to deal with it later. My email address was hacked awhile back and someone took out a loan in my name. Those overnight loans that people apply for online are fairly easy for people to get.
I had to make a police report to get the situation resolved. The detective who handled my case said that he had an office full of policemen handling fraud cases.
Report – United States Postal Inspection Service
How to Contact the U.S. Postal Inspection Service
If you believe you’ve been targeted by a scam involving the U.S. Mail, you can get help by contacting your nearest Postal Inspection Service office in one of three ways:
Call 1-877-876-2455.
Visit www.uspis.gov to report suspected fraud online.
Mail your queries to this address:
CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIONS SERVICE CENTER
ATTN: MAIL FRAUD
433 HARRISON STREET RM 3255
CHICAGO IL 60699-3255
https://www.uspis.gov ;› report
Also, check out RAZ Memory Cell Phone for ALZ patients:
https://www.razmobility.com/solutions/memory-cellphone/?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA6vaqBhCbARIsACF9M6mjbsAfB6HhTbgEe3YOLNZl-blFN0Pc527dU3sol5KiWGN10h79S5MaAimaEALw_wcB
If she has a caregiver that is with her can the caregiver check the mailbox first and remove "junk mail"?
You might want to see if you can opt for privacy and security setting on her FB account.
And as a last resort the phone or computer she is using could "break"
Reading your profile it sounds like you mom really should not be living alone. Wheelchair bound and dementia and living alone do not go well together.
It may just be fake checks now but could escalate, it is very easy to do. I would take away her phone and provide her with some other way to stay connected to the (real) people who are important to her.
Good Luck!