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I use to work as a physical therapy aide in a hospital. Needed to get a 90 year old women up out of her chair. I recall vividly how the women kept saying she wanted to just die. She had a pacemaker placed the year before…I wondered how that impacted the rest of her life…
Dad had the surgery and was buried 8 weeks later with stitches still in his forehead. Yes, the skin cancer may have eventually taken his life, but the 25 year battle with leukemia was the cause.
I had to go to his house 3xs a day to clean and dress that wound, along with the ones he had where he had fallen and scraped the papery skin off his forearm and shoulder.
I admired his spunk and will to live, but couldn't wrap my brain around his terrifying fear of dying. He went tanning the week before he died. A 72 yo man going to a tanning booth. That's hopeful!
Obviously this is fast, whatever it is but, if post operation care isn't possible because mom can't comply, what happens?
What happens if she can't keep her hands off it?
I would wait for the labs. I have seen to many people that had skin cancer and it led to one surgery after another until death. Never adding anything to the quality of life for the patient, just one sore that wouldn't heal because ALL the cancer couldn't be removed.
That's what I would want to know, because you already know that the anesthesia is going to adversely effect her. So what are the REAL chances of getting everything and this being a one time surgery.
I would never let anyone cut on my loved ones without proper testing.
I am sorry you are having to face this type of decision. Life gets to a point when there are no choices, only options, especially with dementia.
You will do what is best for your mom and that is all you can expect from yourself.
MC is not skilled nursing. CNAs are not medically trained. Yes, they can report to the RN that a growth has popped up but as you said, this was very fast.
Here is a link for this forum that explains palliative care.
Wishing you and mom the best course of action.
For a cancer of the skin which would need grafting I am not certain I would do this. Much depends on the options you should discuss with the MD. Is there a possibility of open and close that is less aesthetically pleasing but would get rid of the lesion. Is the lesion open. Is it rapidly spreading. What kind of cancer is this. Is Mom aware and would she prefer hospice care dependent on prognosis or would she want palliative or other care.
Yes, anesthesia is a REAL concern.
Speak openly with the MDs. And with Mom if she is able. And then make best decision you can. I sure wish you luck.
If this were my mother who had advanced dementia as she did at 95, I'd leave her alone and give her no treatment at all. She, in fact, did have squamous cell cancer on her chin and also on her face (upper cheek) that the dermatologist kept warning me NEEDED to be removed. I finally told the dermatologist to stop visiting mom in the Memory Care after they'd removed the wart on her hand that was bothering her.
Mom passed on Tuesday of other causes, not from skin cancer.
The decision is up to you, of course, but consider the quality of her life NOW, with stage 6 dementia at play, and how life would be after a surgery, anesthesia, and rehab, then make your decision accordingly. My condolences over this entire situation and that you're both in such a position to begin with. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace, whatever you decide to do.
"So. Doc is mum until labs come back. He is calling it squamous cell, BUT. IT HAS tripled in size in 5 weeks time. ? I am beginning to see it is about how we feel when we die... not when we die. or how. It is about the emotional memory we want to create for our loved one".
So, about 2 years before her death, mom had a rapidly growing neoplasm on her face. She'd had melanoma before and wanted that thing gone.
The dermatologist who visited her NH facility gave us some choices.. Mohs surgery, or a punch biopsy. We opted for the punch biopsy in his office with local anesthesia.
Once they'd looked at the cells, it was a squamous cell cancer. From there the choice was Mohs surgery to get the rest, do nothing or a chemo topical cream to get what was at the margins. We opted for the cream.
Man, that thing REALLY looked like melanoma. Even to the docs. Don't panic before you need to,
Do what you think is best. If it was my decision, I lean toward having it frozen to slow the growth but skip the full-on surgery.
Here is some good info to answer your question: How to Find Palliative Care (webmd.com) https://www.webmd.com/palliative-care/how-to-find-palliative-care
The dermatologist can order skilled home health care for wound management of the lesion, and that team may come up with a dressing that only needs changing 2x/week, with a goal of teaching family how to do wound care.
Hospice can provide wound care and other supports as she approaches the end of her long life. Help with bathing, some supplies in addition to wound care supplies. medications related to her hospice qualifying diagnosis, and education and support for her and for you and your family. Hospice does not cause death, but provides some comfort and support to families to reduce your regrets after she is gone.
A squamous cell lesion can grow rapidly and look very nasty at her age. And the likelihood of a skin graft site healing in this situation is very very very low.
Her primary care provider is the one to refer to hospice, I imagine the dermatologist would consider that out of his/her sphere of practice.
If she were my mom I would not do surgery but start with hospice. What were your mom's wishes before her LBD?
Hospice will be able to keep her comfortable.
Our bodies were not meant to last forever and start to break down.
Squamous cell may not qualify her as it is easily treated.
Palliative Care - Hospice can make her comfortable for the time she has left. That seems like the more humane / kinder direction to take.
My mother’s skin cancer eventually spread throughout her body, But this took years in the making.
Anyway, I would ask about MOH’s and see where this takes you. If this is not a workable way to go, then Hospice will know when to attend to your Mom. Wishing you the best in your journey. I was my mom’s caregiver for 10 yrs.
Immediately afterwards, start her in hospice. Don’t follow up with systemic cancer drugs.
I would opt NOT to do the surgery.
I would contact Hospice.
(She qualifies either way just due to the LBD)
The question right now is the lesion causing pain or discomfort? If it is not then I would leave well enough alone.
With surgery there is a good possibility that
1. recovery from anesthesia will be difficult
2. She will not return to her current "baseline" cognition after.
3. She will not understand what is going on and may pick at the new enlarge wound.
4. Since she is probably not very active blood flow is often reduced that will effect the healing of the wound. That may or may not heal at all.
5. If rehab is required will she be able to participate?
Did the doctor give a "prognosis", an expected outcome if she has surgery VS not having it? What is her lifespan with and without surgery?
Will she have to have follow up treatment? Chemo or radiation? If yes to either is this something that she could tolerate? And would you put her through it for what result?
I did some research and found a product called CuraDerm Bec5 from a doctor in Vanuatu. I bought it from Ebay of all places, it wasn't on Amazon at that time. I put a little bit on my father's squamous cell cancer several times a day. I kept it cool in the refrigerator. I also found an interesting natural website that had good ideas. I went to the farmer's market and bought an eggplant. I cut it up and let it soak in apple cider vinegar for five days before I threw out the eggplant. I kept the liquid cool in the fridge. I used a cotton ball to put this on his cancer site first, let it dry before I put on the Curaderm Bec5. – Vanessa RN
Good for you for seeking alternatives.
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