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I have had the opposite issue, I don't like to let mom eat alone all the time, so I try and eat lunch with her, a couple times a week, but she stresses me, it's been better because I've been able to let go of much of my anxiety, but it's been very hard for me to eat around her.
If I'm with anyone that I feel is going to look at my plate, comment on my food, or even think of eating of my plate, my stomach closes.
It comes from having an ex husband that is 5"6 and weighed 350. Spouse of an alcoholic hates alcohol. I started to hate food.
This is just a different perspective, I would keep your meal time at moms, as light and friendly as you can , never talk or mention food. Don't say oh that looks good or smells good, or anything about the food , then see if nature takes its course.
Try that and go from there. Food for some is often about control, when I don't feel my life is in control, I control the one and only thing I can, which is food
But, this may not be the issue at all, some place to start though.
Best of luck
I WILL say that when you CHOOSE to do home caregiving, that you move from being the DD (darling daughter) to being the caregiver. That is a whole different thing. Your daughter is loved and cherished, but your caregiver seldom is because she requires things of you.
It is worth seeing what looks different about a table she shares with the other kids, and one she does with you. Be certain there is no criticism of amounts she eats or how she eats. She isn't your little child (despite seeming like one at time). Take note of how she is treated, if differently from how you normally treat her during meals.
Other than that there's little you can do. Doesn't sound awful if this is the worst of caregiving right now.
Sending you my condolences for your pain.
When I was caring, briefly, for my MIL with dementia, she made it clear she disliked being the sole focus of my attention and she would push back when she’d had enough of it.
I wasn’t with her long enough to come up with ‘tricks’ but I think I would have tried things like being too ‘busy’ to sit down with her when she eats or having music on at mealtimes. Maybe have Tv Tray Tuesdays when both of you eat in front of the tv or serve Finger Foods on Fridays from paper plates. Try root beer floats you make right in front of her so she can watch them foam. Try not to get so serious about food; if she skips a meal or eats too lightly once in awhile it’s ok. Nothing will work every time or forever.