By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Do it now, before it gets any later.
Each state has an referral service and possibly lawyers who will do some helpful guidance for free.
Getting the correct laws applied to your Mom’s estate will be crucial to moving on with your life, regardless of the outcome. Also remember you might have tax forms to fill out depending upon how she titled her assets at time of death.
See if you have a friend who can support you through this process. There is a lot of emotion tied to the process and the distribution. Good luck on your journey.
I can understand the paralysis, the ... not wanting to deal with any of it. I've been sitting here for 2.5 months still insuring a car in a parking lot etc. Totes full of stuff I don't want to touch. Seven months tho. It's time to find the strength and start going through it all.
See if you have a friend of a friend who is a lawyer who can give some off-record advice or a starting point, or you're going to be paying consultation fees. Settling estates is a bit of work especially without a will.
I'm not sure if it is a default thing or not, but my moms will said those who died before her, their share was then split to the surviving sibling relatives (ie it didnt go down to their children). I don't know though if that is an assumed default in an estate or not. It might vary from state to state.
Find a friend to help give you strength and start going through all of those things in the house etc. Yes it is going to hurt and it is going to suck. That's life all over though. :(
"If an Heir Has Died
Obviously, an heir who has died can't inherit. But if the heir was a close relative, such as a child of the deceased person, his or her offspring may be entitled to take some or all of what their parent would have received. Figuring out whether this is the case can be tricky, but it's essential that you do so before distributing assets." https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/intestate-succession-tennessee.html
You really need to talk with an estate attorney. Depending on legal fees and the worth of the assets, the brother's heirs may or may not pursue litigation. Litigation is expensive and messy. Discussing your situation with a competent estate attorney now could save you thousands of dollars and lots of headaches.
Do what you can and then let it go. . . as difficult as this might be.
You do not want to ruin your health due to legalities and how things went in the past. It is easy to realize what we should have / could not done after the fact.
I understand this is not only emotionally difficult, it involves finances and what you feel is unfair (which it might be). Anger will not serve you moving forward. While it will / may be difficult to consider the situation this way 'be grateful for what you do have / will have' and appreciate yourself for what you did for your mom, regardless of how the Will / or lack thereof is divided up. I know this is a tall order / recommendation / advice-support. You want to maintain your well-being as best you can. Being mad, disappointed, upset, angry will not serve you. Although it is understandable.
Gena / Touch Matters
I am son who was a full-time caregiver for my mom. Each year, I would go over important legal documents with her: POA, Health Care Proxy, Will, Funeral Arrangements, Obituary, and Deed, to make sure she was OK with everything. I would then prepare a sheet that both of us signed and dated noting our review. I wanted it for my record in case anyone (including my siblings who were never involved in her care) every questioned my decisions.
When she died last year at age 93, I was prepared. Her funeral wishes were followed. When it came to closing the estate, it was a very simple process that involved my attorney's office filing a death certificate with the County Clerk to confirm ownership of the family home (mom had life use) transferred to me. The paralegal kept me informed of what she was doing by email and phone, and responded to all my questions. I paid an upfront retainer fee that was drawn down as the process moved forward.
Many of the horror stories that occur regarding control over property, bank accounts, estates, funeral arrangements, etc. might be avoided if wishes were discussed and reviewed on a regular basis. Death is certain for all of us. Having one's wishes known before makes it easier for those who survive. I wish you well.
But she did so that is water under the bridge. It doesn't help to point this out (as I also was wondering about it).
Talking about what she should have / could have done doesn't help her 'now.' It might (hopefully) help others reading this.
Yes. You were prepared. And, this doesn't help the writer of this missive at all. She can't go back ... try to be more compassionate to the situation this woman / daughter is in now - to support her.
In our state there are specific laws that direct the handling of an estate without a will. It is referred to dying intestate…. dying without a will. An estate attorney for your state should be your best choice. We have one who offered the first consultation free and we paid only if we chose to follow her recommendations. Any attorney can help, but an estate attorney should do it right the first time.
Use what you learn here only to make a list of questions to ask an attorney… not to totally base your decisions.
Reading your question and all these answers, it seems like the best idea is to find an available and responsive attorney so you don’t have to wade through this alone.
Cleaning out the personal property is heartbreaking and overwhelming enough… then you won’t have to worry about making legal mistakes that lead to IRS trouble or litigation with family.
The legal process should be fairly straightforward for an attorney and the hourly charges will be worth every penny. You can simply follow the directions and with a legal professional guiding you, if there were any mistakes made, you would just be following professional advice.
I’m sorry you are going through all this, but the end of this trouble is in sight.
We do tend to forget that a will is NOT a gift for those who cared for a person.
And sadly, every family has their 'challenges' as far as that goes. My OB stole so much money from my folks they actually lost their home and had no savings to speak of--yet this same OB stood to inherit his 1/6th. He died before mom did and she did have the will changed to exclude his children. Otherwise, his 6th would have been divided amongst his 5 kids.
My BIL, DH's OB stands to inherit 1/3rd of his mom's estate. He has no relationship with her, he can't stand her and has had no relationship with her for many, many years. He's done nothing for her care, BUT MIL wants him to inherit equally. What I/we think is pointless. DH will execute her estate with complete transparency and OB will get his. And likely we will never see him again.
Also the state probate will tell about distributions based on their laws. In SC it is the wife and children who get equal shares
"Is a Handwritten Will Legal in Tennessee?
In Tennessee, three types of wills are legal:
- A standard will that was created with the help of an estate attorney
- A nuncupative will, completed while the person’s death is imminent
- A holographic will, also known as a handwritten will
Although the courts will recognize handwritten wills, they must comply with T.C.A. § 32-1-105:
No witness to a holographic will is necessary, but the signature and all its material provisions must be in the handwriting of the testator and the testator’s handwriting must be proved by two (2) witnesses.
What the statute means is that a handwritten will is only found valid if the deceased had signed the document and two witnesses can prove that the handwriting is the testator. The will must be entirely written out – if it is typed out, for instance, it will not be valid under Tennessee law."
Source: https://www.mhpslaw.com/practice-areas/estate-planning-attorney-nashville/handwritten-will-issues/#:~:text=What%20the%20statute%20means%20is,be%20valid%20under%20Tennessee%20law.
There is more info at the link regarding "Issues Surrounding Holographic (Handwritten) Wills"
in any case yes, sometimes it can be valid. but it can also raise many legal questions; lead to potential heirs contesting; and be judged invalid.
it's possible OP's TN lawyer saw the actual "will" and came to the conclusion that it's invalid for many reasons.
His children deserve his half if he was willed half. You sound extremely greedy, petty, and bitter.
Grow up.
In fact I'm sure you are one of these who sit in your basement making rude comments to and about people you know nothing about.
Grow up indeed ZippyZee! I suspect your screen name is most app to you!
https://www.clearestate.com/en-us/blog/tennessee-intestate-succession#:~:text=If%20someone%20dies%20intestate%20in,then%20passes%20to%20any%20siblings.
Also, what about her "handwritten unwitnessed will"... does it have no legal weight at all in this case? Seems like it should. What reason did the attorney give that this document is not valid?
The lawyer says it is not valid because there should be 2 witnesses and notarized.
i’m a lawyer.
the laws regarding wills differ a lot from place to place.
in fact as you said, that lawyer told you, in the state of TN that is the law (children of your brother are heirs). i don’t know TN law.
you’ll have to ask for a second opinion: another TN lawyer.
side-note:
in many countries, that’s indeed the law: no will, then children of a deceased sibling are also heirs. in fact in many countries, even with a will (no matter what the will says), children of a deceased sibling are heirs. in many countries (especially in some european countries), no matter what the will says, siblings (for example you and your brother) must inherit equally.
i’m sure you’ve checked the internet for TN law. you’ll have to keep looking. the best is to contact a 2nd TN lawyer.
if you make mistakes, and your brother’s children contest the way the inheritance was distributed, it can drag on for a long time.
My brother's children wouldn't have had any idea they had a claim. As I said they have not been in contact with us or even cared how Mom was doing for years!
As a lawyer, do u have any idea why 'my' lawyer won't respond to tell me the steps I need to take in order to sell the house and settle the estate? I paid him over $600 for the times I met with him. He said his fee would be $2700 at the settling.
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/intestate-succession-tennessee.html
You probably would have liked what my MIL has done with one of her properties -- her 5 children own it, and she has a life estate. If any of her children die, their portion gets split amongst the other sibs -- it does NOT go to that child's heirs. I think THAT is grossly unfair. Not that *I* expect my husband's 1/5 if he were to die, but I think our children most certainly do. My parents had their trust set up so that me and my brothers were equal beneficiaries. If any of us were to die, that sib's portion would go to their children. If they didn't have any children, only then would their portion be split amongst the other sibs.
What exactly is this modest house worth? Is it worth fighting over? What were you going to do with it?
I would think the money in the joint bank accounts is all yours.
Since your mother died essentially intestate, the laws of the state prevail in how her estate is split up.
My brother lived with my mom for 15 years. It was a comfort for her that he was there in the later years when she was disabled. He saw that she was fed and did what he could for her. He was not a good handler of money. He could not have afforded to move from her house if he were living. I would never have expected him to. But never would it have occurred to me that his kids would have a say about anything! I lay awake at night scenario-dreaming about my regrets and if-only-I-had.......
I was the only one taking care of my mom's interests as POA.