By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
The next time she becomes verbally abusive, call 911. File a complaint and/or have her transported to a psych hospital.
Frankly, she sounds mentally ill to me. She needs more help than one human being can provide.
YOU choose a place that is appropriate and by this I mean a Memory Care facility. Complete all the required paperwork. Most likely she will have to have a physical and some tests prior to moving in. Then move her in.
If she has not been declared incompetent she can refuse to enter a facility. So you have to have the proper diagnosis.
Do you have POA?
You might have to obtain Guardianship in order to move her if you do not have the authority to do so.
Involving a third party may add insight & get things moving.
Have you had an elder assessment done? To investigate what care needs your Mother has & where can that be best be provided. If not, book it.
Care needs may be on a scale from;
1. Independent (like the Golden Girls)
2. Partial Independence
a. needs a little help
b. needs a lot of help
3. Dependant (significant help required most ADLs)
So you can see if Independant Living, Assisted Living or even Skilled Nursing is required.
That would be my start.
It looks as if it's going to take something unconventional and perhaps initially extreme-sounding to change your situation; it's been going on for so long that it is evidently not an issue you're able to solve in the ordinary way. But also your mother is quite young, you state in your profile information that she has dementia but nothing else in your description seems to indicate that, and it can be hard to change a person's view of you when you've let her get away with her learned dependency on you for so long.
If she *does* have dementia, or is otherwise mentally unwell, it makes a big difference. Has any of this been formally investigated?
Why would she want to move? She's in your home and has you to do for her. It's been 14 years and she's fine with how it is. Nothing will happen to her if she never finds another place; she's certain you won't make her leave. She doesn't care if you're suffering.
If she has dementia, there's no "pick a place, mom". You have to pick one and get it set up. I don't know anything about getting POA or Medicaid or anything, but many on here do.