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Tell Mom that you understand how hard things are, given that aging has one loss after another, and now she is living outside her own home, in your home, and must feel as though so many choices are taken from her. Tell her you understand her grief and anger. But tell her also that things are not easy for you either. That you stand witness to these losses and they make you fear how close you are yourself to the losses. That you have tried to the best of your limitations/abilities to make your home her home, but the fact is that it IS YOUR HOME. And you depend on your home as haven from a hard world. And if it is not a home that is peaceful, then you WILL MOST CERTAINLY take steps to make it so. Tell her that if she cannot come into some control of her anger and fear and upset, and cannot find some contentment in some activities of her own, that she cannot continue to stay in your home and will have to go into care, which may in fact be BETTER for her in giving her more choices in friends and activities, but whether better for her or not, YOU have a life to live. And it must be a life with some contentment and peace in your own home.
Tell your mom you will help her speak to a doctor. That perhaps a low dose antidepressant will make the world seem a bit more sunny; worth a try; can always stop it if it's no help. Ask what ideas of her own for activities that would help might be. Would she like to cook a meal with you? Take a walk. Work a puzzle. Knit, be read to. WHAT?
Short of that, she will understand and respond or not.
And then you must make the tough choices. They are yours to make. You deserve a life of peace and contentment.
Why is she living in your house? and for how long?
Do you want her residing in your home?
Has she been diagnosed with a mental illness? or condition such as dementia?
What is blocking you from making healthy decisions that are in your best interest?
Do you have difficulty asserting yourself?
Are you afraid of her?
Something(s) is getting in your way to value yourself and allowing this behavior.
Do you feel you cannot ask her to leave?
Are you feeling guilty about something?
Do you feel you are traumatized ? how?
These are questions you need to ask yourself.
You would benefit from seeing a therapist to understand your motivations and decision making.
Gena / Touch Matters