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Ugh I shudder with the eating with their hands! The desire to be clean and not pass germs along is zero with dementia. My mom was really into licking her darn fingers. Ignoring the nice napkin that was always next to her plate. I could practically see the germs crawling around. I just had to clean more and be more careful with washing my hands.
Best of luck.
You may want to call area churches to see if any have Adult Day Care ministries. These would most likely be more affordable than any for-profit places. If you are part of a faith-based community, maybe seek volunteers to come in and be a companion to your Mom for a few hours a day or week.
Depending on your state of residence, Medicaid mostly only covers LTC + financial need. Talk to the social worker about this as well. I wish you all the best. Yes, it is very overwhelming when doing it by yourself.