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Find the kind of facility you think Mom belongs. Discuss her health and behavior with them. Is assisted living the right kind of care? Does she need a memory care unit?
Then, you have find one that will accept Medicaid. Such a place will help you apply for Medicaid. Depending on where you are, it may be difficult to find ALF that accepts Medicaid. Often they will only take Medicaid after the resident has been private pay for so many months. But they do exist. To help you find one, talk to the Senior Help Line or Agency on Aging or Elder Care Department or whatever your state has set up to deal with these issues.
Meanwhile, have you discussed her agitation with her doctor? Perhaps a medication would help calm her until (and after) you are able to place her in suitable care.
I am running into a similar issue. My Mother had to move in with my young son and I and cannot afford to pay for assisted living or a nursing home. He breaks down and sobs for hours at the thought of going into either. Her health isn't so good, has recently gotten the flu, and cannot do anything. I know she is sick, but all of this has given me a reality check that I, by myself, cannot be her caregiver (and raise a child, work full time). My siblings have no money to help, either. Doesn't Medicaid only cover the worst homes? I've seen a lot with my grandparent's and they are like waiting places to die.
Very distressed about this. Anyone in a similar situation?
Thank you for your answer. The reason I thought my mother couldn't qualify for medicaid was because I applied on line and they had you fill out a form that asked the question, how much does all the people in your household make, even non related people. When I did this it said she wouldn't qualify.I to was was under the understanding that she could get medicaid. however Iwas heart sick to hear that. I am completely overwhelmed since I am her only caretaker.
and she has recently been diagnosed with demetia.I wouldn't mind keeping her here in the home if I had help, as she will not take a bath wash her hair or anything, and gets angry with me for even sugessting it.
The only way 'our' mothers and fathers are able to enter a care facility of any kind if they lack funds is to be absolutely destitute and sleeping on a subway grate or under an overpass. The only other way for formerly 'middle class' elders who now have no money other than their Social Security to find admission into any kind of a care facility is, unfortunately, to be sick enough to be admitted to a hospital for at least 3 days, after which time they might be released into a short-term rehab home. This will be at the discretion, however, of a hospital care person, and they're sending more people home with more serious issues than ever before. But, should the worst befall your moms, and they do have to go to the ER, and are admitted to the hospital, they must stay fully those 3 days and may then be released to a rehab. Be sure to select a rehab that has not only short-term but a long-term side as well. Once they've come to know your mom during her short-term 'assignment' (they're eligible for about 100 days of this rehab under Medicare). At this point, creativity is necessary. Practice your acting skills. You'll need them. You will have to approach the social worker at the facility, who will be by now familiar with your mom and you visiting and of course always stopping by her office and saying 'hi there'. Eventually, if you flash your baby blues and seem needy, the Social Worker will assist you in acquiring Medicaid certification for her prior to 'sliding' her over to their long-term operation.
I know of no other legal way, apart from attorneys who, the little vultures, make their entire living getting people qualified for Medicaid. I don't know what they charge, but I've heard in the neighborhood of $3-5,000. If anyone else knows of a way to get around the least accommodating medical care system for the aging of any developed country on the planet, I'd love to know.