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"If possible, patients should use a separate toilet from others in the home. Always wash hands with soap and water after using the toilet. Caregivers must wear gloves when handling the patients' blood, urine, stool, or emesis. Dispose of the gloves after each use and wash your hands."
So yes you do need to take some precautions. If he can't be honest with you and refuses to allow you to speak with the doctors treating him then I would rethink continuing to be his caregiver and have him placed in a facility if possible. This is especially true since in your profile it states he has incontinence so you will need to take those precautions in handling his urine and feces.
And yes, elderly parent. We moved him with us when we moved to Houston last year so we could support him and not make him die alone in the state we all moved from ( he would have had no family left there). Best option at the time, and the allure of being treated by one of the top cancer treatment centers in the country was enough for us to think it was the right decision. I didn't know or expect to be lied to as much as we have.
You could ask him to get a letter from his oncologist regarding what the proper chemo precautions are specific to him, otherwise you’ll have to go with the booklet.
Chemo is, however, routinely immunosuppressive, so it is best for patients’ sake that they use separate bathrooms, don’t share dishes, and so forth so as to minimize spread of your germs to them.
As to the other way around? Sure, if they get Covid or flu they could transmit it to you.
10 things to avoid while receiving chemotherapy
7. Caregivers should take precautions when doing laundry and cleaning
Depending on your living situation, you may need to change your household cleaning habits during cancer treatment, too.
“If someone else is doing your laundry, and you’re receiving chemotherapy, they should put on gloves before touching your soiled clothes or linens,” Hassan says. “The same goes for chemotherapy at home. If a caregiver is handling your pills, they should be using gloves. Otherwise, they run the risk of absorbing the medications themselves.”
https://www.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/10-things-to-avoid-while-receiving-chemotherapy.h00-159615489.html
Chemotherapy safety at home
https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/treatment/chemotherapy/chemotherapy-safety-at-home
As a retired RN I am concerned about his confusion.
You need to contact his doctor's office and tell them about this, making it clear that as family members you need to fully understand all precautions. As the MD to arrange to meet with both him and you since he seems so confused about his treatment plan and precautions.
Do know that this communication needs to be between your loved ones, his medical team and the family. A Forum of strangers cannot advise on these crucial steps.
I wish you the very best, both of you.
Unfortunately, he is just independent enough to schedule his appointments and attend them solo. We've asked him if we can attend a visit, give him a ride, take him to the biopsies (he is also enrolled in a trial) and he always tells us no. Our hands feel tied. I do know his oncologists name, but she can not speak to me since he has not given permission. I have left messages for her, with the only response being that she can not discuss patients without consent. He does not give consent.
?? Maybe he is undertaking this type of treatment?
#1. What medications is he on?
(A quick google search should let you know the drug use).
If he cannot remember the medication names, he could simply show you the packets, right?
Or is he purposely withholding this information?
#2. If so, why? What reason does he give?
Privacy? His independance?
Does he understand WHY you need to know his medication names?
If you explain again, make it crystal clear why you need to know (the household safety) & he still is obstructive.. well...
#3. Hard Chat Time.
If he cannot work WITH the household, he may need to find a new household would be my thinking. Extreme, yes but my home my rules.
Hopefully there is a minor reason that can be worked through & steps made to better communication.
Update us if it helps you.