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Caregivers: This is specifically what J. could use help with.
from JMaster:
"I'm new at this and couldn't figure out how to respond to your message except here. Here's my situation. 78 yr old hubby, Frank, has Lewybody dementia and Alzheimers. We live together in a lovely accessible apartment. He is in last part of stage 3. Ambulatory, continent, confused, speech a whisper and uses the wrong words to make himself understood. Feeds himself with hands doing most of the work. I am 71 and this man is the love of my life and if able, I want to keep him home. Neurologist and lawyer said to make a plan B if something happened to me. Been avoiding it like the plague. I have inattentive ADD, diagnosed at 63, so that kind of project is very difficult for me with the amount of information to sort through and organize. Not my best attribute. He has 3 amazing children who love me and will help with that. For me it would be great if anyone new of a book where I could just fill in the blanks. I did find one on Amazon so I will start putting that together. see less"
JMaster, how wise you are to get this together now.
I would either see an elder law attorney now, or I would see a Licensed Fiduciary. An elder law attorney will know some as they work together when care is needed and there is no family.
You two DO have family, and I think they should be included in planning.
Does one of them want to be/is capable of being the POA for you both? If so then you will do papers with an elder law attorney.
If you require some organizational help perhaps someone from such places as listed below can help. Begin now by organizing, because you are right, this is need to know information. I found a little book on Amazon called Please Don't Die but if you DO Die WHAT do I do Next was helpful, but it is mostly for AFTER death. Cannot remember the author
Try help from the following:
I don't know Fiduciary outreach for anything but California, but these folks may guide:
PFAC at www.pfac-pro.org for California Licensed Fiduciary. Number 866-886-7322.
AgingLifeProfessional at www.aginglife.org
Who will Take Care of Me when I am Old by Joy Loverde has a helpful index. A book.
CDMM Certified daily money managers at Secure.aadmm.com
Family Caregivers Facebook Discussion group is AARPs; to join go to facebook.com/groups/aarpfamilycaregivers.
Good luck. Call any professional organizing organization in your area also and ask for their guidance on the kind of organization help you need.
Be CAREFUL. Vet people. You may end up sharing important financial information.
Welcome to the Forum.
I am going to ask you to give us a fill in on your profile as a new member so we know a bit about you and hubby and your situation. Will help to know what family support you have as well. You are so right to now to addressing all this. Wishing you the best and will be able to answer when we know more about the sitch!
And yes, I would write it all down. Always best to be prepared for the worst, and hope for the best.