Follow
Share

My father, who I care for every other day for hours, sometimes wants me to return products he doesn't want to our local supermarket. The supermarket takes back anything, even used items. My father has plenty of money to meet his living expenses; he's just a very thrifty and an educated consumer.



Recently he told me a soap he bought had a weird smell, the manufacturer indicated a pleasant smell, so he asked me to return it. It cost about $6.00. I went to customer service and they were good about refunding but as I was leaving I heard one person say to to the other something like "Why doesn't shoe have any money?". This was kind of embarrassing to me. Should I tell my father I will no longer return his items? Or is it just my right to return things and I shouldn't care what others think? It seems now though I'm beginning to become a certain "character" in the community based on what I do for my father.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

17 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Im assuming he buys these things himself as a "very thrifty and an educated consumer." If I were in your shoes I would consider doing shopping for him or accompany him, and only buy tried and true grocery items. In my opinion only, the occasional return of defective or unopened, unused items is fine if you want to be bothered with it; otherwise I would use it myself, donate or trash it and chalk it up to lesson learned. Bottom line is if it makes you uncomfortable don't do it. You are the important one here.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Well let's see; you said you're embarrassed for being labeled as you were by the customer service staff for returning a used bar of soap.

Yet the store is close by and there is no wait in line to return things that have no business being returned in the first place.

Tough decision.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Lisa, this seems a decision that an adult should be able to make for him or herself entirely dependent on he or she feels about the situation.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
L
lisatrevor Jul 2022
I just wanted some feedback. I know it's not important but my life revolves around taking care of my father and I have no one else to speak with.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
No way I’d do it. I frequently return items I buy, but they’re unused, in original packaging, and something I’ve truly found I can’t use. I’d not be embarrassed in my community for the whims of another, but that’s me
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
P
PeggySue2020 Jul 2022
Returning used foodstuffs or say a used bar of soap is wasteful and gross, on the other hand.
(3)
Report
Is there a reason you cannot take dad to the store and let him return the unwanted items? I still don't understand what is wrong with your father. Does he just stay in his house and never leave?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
L
lisatrevor Jul 2022
My father is overall frail and getting worse as time goes on. Simple things like opening the refrigerator door is starting to be difficult. He has been able to go to the store sometimes but sometimes not. Lately he stays inside; more and more in bed.
(0)
Report
I have to ask...
Is this a new or more recent "thing" with him?
Is there a reason he does not return items to the store?

You can tell him..
1) The store will no longer accept opened items. New policy, unless the item is obviously spoiled.
2) If he wants an item returned he must do the return. (if he is able)
3) Take the items he no longer wants and tell him you will take them home and use them...if they are usable. If it is a good food item you do not want but is still unopened donate it to your local food pantry. there are a lot of people now that are not in the same position as your dad and need to utilize the food pantry

You do not mention your dad in your profile only that you are caring for mom. Does dad have medical problems that make going to the store difficult?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
L
lisatrevor Jul 2022
He's always been like this. It's not excessive. It's that he will occasionally buy something, usually do some research beforehand, and then will return it if it doesn't meet his satisfaction. He says if the store advertises the return policy then that makes him more likely to buy; and return something if it doesn't meet his satisfaction. He spends much more on items he uses and does not return,

Right now he's not feeling well and asked me to return the soap. I smelled it. It was not pleasant, like the label would have you believe. Plus it didn't rinse off well at all, like others soaps do. Still I didn't like that comment towards me. Maybe I should have said "The soap did not do what the manufacturer promised. As a customer I have a right to return it under your publicly stated policy. You also might want to know, in my experience people who have a good financial status typically are vigilant and respect even the very smallest expenditures. This I can prove beyond a doubt.".
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
I had an Aunt who was married to a cheapskate bully who had plenty of money. He on more that one occasion made her return cooked, half eaten food to the grocery store, one time being a roast. Not sure why but do crazy people really need "a good reason" to do the things they do? It seemed like a hobby or sport to them. Unfortunately, the store owner, not the manufacturer of the soap, takes the hit since they may not be able to restock a hygiene item, even if it was never used. There are many items that cannot be restocked even if never used. This is because the store can't be sure that, if it was a refrigerated or frozen item, it was kept cold while the customer had it -- even if it is returned unopened.

In the case of the soap, I don't think it was wrong to return if never opened or used it but maybe ask if it is an item that can be restocked. My local store will flat out refuse to refund money to non-restockable items. I personally don't want to unknowingly spend $6 on a bar of soap that someone had in their house or shower...ew.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Our neighborhood grocery shore used to have regulars who would return food for exchange. They’d claim that a bag of avocados etc. was bad and get another one. The store ate these losses as they figured that maybe these people were starving as opposed to playing poor so they could get more free stuff.

This dad has his own house, aides paid for entirely by Lisa’s brother, and then Lisa to wait on him. His so called thriftiness and that of the likeminded is just charity to virtually everyone else, the price of biz to get someone not to have a fit.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
I will return items if I have a good reason. But it's not more than a couple of times a year, at most.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
How does your father get these products he's always returning?
If he does his own shopping then he can do his own returns.
You could return some things within reason if they are defective. Not if they aren't. If he didn't like the scent of the soap he bought, that's not the store's fault.
I had a care client many years ago who I had to do shopping for. She would send me to return just about anything to the store. Food, household items, even toilet paper because it went 10 cents off the next day. She didn't understand that prices in the 1990's were not the same as in the 1890's. She'd expect top-shelf name brand items but wasn't willing to pay for them. So when I bought off-brand products because they were cheaper, she'd get angry.
It got to the point where I was spending more money on gas for my car running around returning things for her then I was making.
One day I just told her. I will not do any more store returns. She got less fussy about everything because she still needed someone to shop for her and everyone in the agency had quit her.
Tell your father that you're not doing returns anymore on small items like soap. Keep a notebook though of things and brands that he likes and ones that he doesn't. This will make your life a whole lot easier.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter