By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
You children have plenty of sense, and I would take their advice. Get a book by Towsend (spelling) and Cloud called: Boundaries.
I think the first step would be to stop this individual from interfering in your life. Your free time is your free time. How does that saying go; tall fences make good neighbors.
If this is a boss, then you should be available for work hours only.
Apparently, this person has money and for some reason feels that they can hold a carrot over your head. Stop relying on family money and get a job separate and apart. If this is not feasible, then drawing up an agreement that will stipulate your working hours to the business. Your free hours should be your own.
As for all of the phone calls and interruptions, let them go to voicemail or better yet, block their number or turn off your phone.
It's difficult to give you advice with such ambiguous details. It sounds like you've painted yourself into a corner. My question is, what measures can you take to get yourself and your children OUT of this corner and into a new life? There are always options, you just have to realize there ARE. $600 a month is very little salary, in reality, and should be quite easy to replace w/o being a personal errand runner w/o privacy and subject to way too many phone calls! That's $150 per week or $30 per day.
Best of luck coming up with an exit plan.
It makes no sense to me that you have a boss who lives next door to you and who dictates your and your husband's income.
My advice to you is to severe all job relationships with her, and to work for someone else. To tell her that her meddling and requirements of your assisting her have become onerous, burdensome and intrusive to both you and to your family, and that you will not be working for her any more in any manner.
Let her know you would like to remain decent neighbors who wave to one another as you leave and return to and from your home.
That you have CHOSEN to have a relationship with a boss who also lives next door to you is poor decision making. The way to under it is to undo it. You have painted yourself into a very sad corner. It is going to be somewhat messy and splattery to get removed from the situation.
I believe it may be Beatty here who has the expression "there will be no solutions to this problem as long as YOU are all the solutions."
I think talking to them about the calls will trickle down into your work life. You know you don't have to answer the phone. Make yourself scarce. When your at something with your kids, silence your phone. Out with friends, silence your phone. No one should have this much control over your life. And only you can get yourself out. We can only suggest. I don't think its so much setting boundaries but getting a backbone.
1) All go together to a lawyer to work out (and implement) ways to tie up your promised inheritance. It needs to come to YOU, with restrictions on the ability to dispose of it in any other way. Remember that if the ‘boss’ needs Medicaid funding, even restrictions won’t work. And a will isn’t good enough, wills can be changed at any time.
2) You and your husband talk in detail about how long this will go on for, and how much of your life it is worth.
3) You and your children get paid now for care and ‘jobs’.
4) You forget about ‘ways to tell’. Just don’t do what you don’t want to do. That’s the only way to be believed.
5) Expect a blow-up. You have allowed this to be ‘normal’. Stopping it is bound to cause a furious fuss.
6) Think about what alternative options the boss has to replace your free labor when you stop. If it’s another family member, talk to them about it first.
7) Remember that this could go on for a very long time. Any change any time will cause a blow-up. It may well be better to get it over and done with now.
You would probably tell them that family life is so important to your grandchildren, and to get out of this situation NOW. We need to set by example. You wouldnt want to see your children, manipulated and used , so don't let people manipulate and use you.
Best of luck
See All Answers