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Give her less options.
The key is that she is comfortable and warm enough.
Put locks on the other closet doors otherwise she'll continue to go in them.
As someone mentioned below, you do not ask her what she wants to wear today; you provide two options and she chooses one.
Donate what you take out of the closet. Of course, you do this when she is not home. Yes, you could hire a person to help you although I do not see where this is necessary. Once you 'take more control' of the situation, you sh/c/ ould do it - if you want to. If you want to hire someone, I am sure there are MANY students in college (art, fashion, geriatrics) that would love to help you out.
[I'm a fabric designer and would love to work with you/r mom ... actually I do assist clients in cleaning out their closets and making these kinds of decisions ... which leads me to:
It is important though to understand the degree / level of dementia and what the person is cognitively capable to do. It sounds like your wife is perhaps unable to actually make a decision. In that case, I would try placing an outfit 'out' and available for her to wear and see how that goes. STILL ... you need to take a lot of clothes unavailable / out of the closet.
You want to keep her as calm as possible, not activate frustration and confusion due to her inability to make a decision.
Gena / Touch Matters
I spread out two nice tops. She rejected both. I choose again & she chose. I selected 2 trousers, she chose. She choose her accessories herself while I tidied up. We chatted about fabrics, a liberty patterned shirt she loved but it didn't stretch, the cut of a polo, a hard piped edge or label she disliked. A salmon pink item she couldn't remember why she ever bought that!
I had a ball - I can talk fashion 😁
The lady seemed to appreciate not being rushed & to talk fashion too.
If you can find the right aide (like a Lady's Maid role of days of old) to visit once or twice a week to help with bathing, dressing & reorganising the wardrobe, this may lighten this task from you. A good personal attendant can be a wonderful source of support & companionship too.
You sound like a wonderful caring man. Best wishes to both of you.
Silvert's, Geri Fashions,
https://www.blair.com/product/khaki
If you put "shirts for men that zip up the front" in search you will see other vendors.
My DD is an RN who has worked in NHs for 25 yrs. She told me early on "Its better to laugh than cry". To be a Caregiver, even to those hard to deal with parents, I think the people who deal with it best are the ones who bring humor into the situation.
Mom: I want to come live with you.
Child: I don't think so Mom, we would end up killing each other. (Said with a smile)
Just remember, she is not doing these things on purpose or to push your buttons. She can't help it. Gladvyou have someone to help with her care.
Id say pick out 2 outfits for each day to best if your ability. Take all other choices out of closet. Put all other clothes in a locked closet/room. Then she can choose one to wear between the two you’ve layed out. Let her do the jewelry. Try to build her daily outfits from stuff you’ve seen her wear previously,
I had a lock put on our main closet for this same issue. If she tries the locked closet just say the door sticks & you need to hire guy to fix it.
This phase will probably pass so be patient.
Keep us posted what works!
I’m doing this for my 88 year old dad since his fingers are so nimble he struggles with the buttons.
Most any local alterations store will be able to help with this.
My mom had the numb fingers and would only wear pull over tees with a blouson type shirt over the tee when she needed to dress it up. DH aunt would only wear button up oxfords. When she could no longer do the buttons she would allow us to pull over her head.
Mom wore slacks and tops. I made sets and got rid of the rest. She had nine outfits. She liked socks so I got colors to match outfits. That did not work once she was in care so I went to all white. Love Lea's idea about putting matching jewelry on the hanger. Make her life as simple as possible. Start with her chosing from 3 outfits, to two to just one. Like suggested, only have in her closet and drawers those 3 things to chose from.
Don't mention eliminating to wife, however. She may not want to give up anything.
And do know that he going meticulously through these things over and over in this "fashion" is a bit of an exercise in looking at and touching the things she loves, her "stuff". And also a bit of an OCD compulsion.
If it doesn't cause her anxiety I would not worry about it, myself.
Fewer decisions means less stress for everyone and more time for meaningful interactions.
I am sure you can select outfits that will be just fine.
No matter what she picks out tell her she looks beautiful.
As you replace clothes select items that will all go together no matter what she picks out. There are stores that have "personal shoppers" but I do not think that something like that would be necessary. When you are buying clothes you can always ask either a sales person or just some random person and say.."I am buying these for my wife, do you think this all goes together" You will get honest answers and people will be happy to help.
And make sure that whatever clothing you decide not to keep, that you donate it to one of the many charities in your area that are in desperate need of clothing.