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You should have been POA for your Mother, or guardian or conservator as she became too incompetent to appoint you as POA. You would have been on her account only as her POA, and signing as such. All funds in the account would have been hers, and your own accounts were for your own assets, whatever you chose to do with them.
Instead you added yourself to her accounts. You are now without records to prove much of anything to anyone I would imagine, and "your word of honor" doesn't count whatsoever in these complicated legal matters.
You need the help of an Elder Law Attorney at once. There's one unhappy way to start spending down this money now. But this isn't DIY and this isn't something we can "help you" to do. This is governmental rules, and they apply. It's complicated at the get-go, and now with this mess over the years it is impossibly complicated.
As they say "ignorance is no excuse before the law". Your best chance of getting this cleared up is with legal help.
I am so very sorry, but this is what happens when one proceeds over time without doing it right, and the fact that it wasn't caught by the government before now just shows how backlogged they are. My friend who died a year ago never paid taxes the last 8 years of her life. They never caught her before she died, but it certainly has left a mess for the administrator of her estate, and for attorneys trying to wind it all down, and has robbed any inheritors of money they might otherwise have got.
Sad when these things happen, and I am, again, so sorry.
See an attorney now.
Also, you DO need to provide Medicaid with the info they request in the timeframe they told you.
Perhaps you will get better advice from a lawyer. I am just telling you that it will be easier to come to terms if you realize that in their eyes her social security money is hers and cannot be shared. I am sorry for your predicament and I hope you find some resolution. I lost my mother last year and the one or two times I had to deal with social security for her they made it quite difficult.
You should never co-mingleing a parents income with your own. Her SS should always have been kept in separate banking account. You should have used her money for all her needs. Her bank statement would have shown her money going in and out. Any account with her name on it, Medicaid determines is hers. Especially if her SS is being deposited in it. (My Moms name was on my disabled nephews acct when she went to redo her Will at 80. The lawyer told her to get it removed because of Medicaid)
Can you prove you have been covering her expenses and have just allowed her SS to sit? I think I would find a Medicaid planner first. An Elder Lawyer can help. I would suggest though, if he asks for a retainer, that you use the money in the acct Moms SS is deposited to. That will help to spend down her money. The lawyer can verify if I am correct.
If she is getting Medicaid for health insurance this amt of money can effect it. Community Medicaid where she is getting help with aides has an asset limit so 25k will mean the Medicaid will stop till she spends down the money.
I suggest you contact the caseworker on the letter and ask if you can set up an appt with them because you are confused about what you need to do. Take the bankstatement and check register with u. I so hope you kept records on what money you spent on her. You may be able to use that to offset the 25k.
Medicare has nothing to do with this. Medicare is tied to Social Security.
She is now applying for Long Term Care Medicaid, which has much stricter financial qualifications. You need a certified Elder Law attorney or Medicaid Planner asap.
You need to go to a funeral home that does this and you need to pay right away using bank checks so the money is immediately taken from the account.
You and your siblings and spouses will need to provide birth and marriage certificates.
If she doesn’t have a funeral trust set one up for her.
not sure if you have time to see a lawyer in such a short amount of time but you should if at all possible.
All States but 2 (NY & MI) allow for IFT for the NH resident and their community spouse and $ comes from their assets. So lowers overall assets. NY and MI allow for an irrevocable funeral arrangement or contract. A State can limit the amount of the IFT allowed as exempt. It could be 15K each which is the max that most States do but could as low as NE $6,346 or Utah’s 7 K or GA @ 10K.
For buying them for adult family, only 4 States allow for this: AZ @ 9K max, CO, IL $7,719 max, Missouri $9,999 max and Oregon.
LSS it’s on you to verify whatever you are buying - that is irrevocable $ paid - meets your States regulations.
Again rules of your State will be very much important should you do an IFT as to whether or not it will meet Medicaid compliance, in addition to rules like the above, could also be…
- if your State requires a Good & Services document that must be submitted by the IFT company selling it to you and that the G& S meets State standards as to included costs. Right now half the States require a G&S.
- States can require registration with State entities. Like TX requires 3: Dept of Banking, Dept of Insurance and Funeral Service Commission. So missing 1 of the 3 too bad, so sad on that IFT eligibility as an allowed spend down.
- States can require the seller to hold a valid preneed funeral permit in their State.
- States require that the State is listed as the residual beneficiary. It’s done to have the policy be OK for estate recovery required attempt. State may have specifics on timeframe as to by when any residual must be paid by and interest if not.
I'm not posting this to be all smartyIgloo but it’s really easy for families under time crunch of a spend down to hear what they want to hear. And then it becomes an expensive bite on the butt. That $ paid is irrevocable, pffft! It’s gone.