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If you think 6 months is tough, the stories of others here are heartbreaking as I read about the loss of their own mental and physcial health, some have lost contact with family or friends, loosing their jobs, spending all of their own savings and retirement, closing a business they started, leaving a home of several yers, children feel alienated, people divorcing, absolutely not having any life at all, and living under the Fear, Obligation and Guilt often placed upon them as a child which now their parent used to keep them intraped as if carring for them at home equals promissing to take care of them or honoring your parents ,etc. just to share a summary of the worst that I've read since coming her in November.
I don't know the answer to your question, but based on my experience with putting my mother into rehab after a stroke, the nursing home saw her need for her to stay there, but my sttep-dad wanted her home which became a major mistake. Be ready if a rehab or nursing home takes her to first pay some big bucks unless you have a doctor's order for her to go to such whereby medicare B would pay 100% for the first 20 days and second for them to tell you that she's really too much to have at home which will only get worse and worse and place an incredible burdern on you, your marriage, your daughter, etc.
You definitely need a break, but you also need to take a serious look and have a serious discussion about why you brought her into your house and how realistic is this care given the other parts of your life?
Another option is try "Senior Day Care". I was at my wits ends when I was caring for my elderly mother, with little to no help at all. I was overwhelm, depressed, and loosing my self. Then, I found a Day Care facility near my home, it was a great help. She went for couple hours to several hours a day just so I could get some rest and recuperate. She was able to make new friends and participate in activities. The fees are affordable: $10 hour, I could use as much or as little as I needed. It's help with relieve stress immensely.
Third option, is hire someone to come into your home and care for her 24/7 while your on vacation. The are home care providers that hire nurses and licensed caregivers to stay at your home to a care for your love one. Check around, do research to find the best on to fit your needs, make sure they are licensed and bonded. That means they thoroughly check and screen the people they hire. If there is theft in the home they will go after the perpetrator, or if there is an accident in the home your protected form being sued if the care giver is injured. In addition, home care providers can help with bathing, meals, senior-sitting (babysitting), transportation to doctors, and more on a daily bases.
Your lucky, you only had your love one for a sort time. You haven't had to care for your love on continuously for years and years, your just starting out. Find out all you can before you become a statistic as Crowemagnum had mentioned at the top. I didn't know about resources, forums, online support, home care assistance, day care or respite. After caring for my mother for four years with little to no help or vacations, finally I'm getting my life back with getting the extra help I needed. I just wish I had know about all this sooner.
Good Luck to you.
Sorry I put in the wrong information regarding the prices of respite care. It's $195-$$250 a DAY, not a week. It's expensive, but if your really need the help and the rest -you should do it. Look online for "senior day care in your area. The one my mother goes to is half a mile away, I never knew they were there. I usually put her in for a couple of hours 3x a week for 4-5 hours.
Don't feel bad about hiring someone to give her a bath. I hired a home care provider to help with shower, nails, and change her bedding. Yes, I could do it to, but this way I don't have to, plus I can have some time to rest or tend to things I've been putting off.
Even if you only get 2.5 hours of free time, DON"T do errands or choirs. You can always get to them later. Do something for yourself: exercise, have a picnic in the park, visit the library or book store and brows magazines or books, go to a restaurant, or get a manicure. Anything just for you.
In the beginning I only had two or three hours of free time, here or there. I wasted my free time on dumb chores. I used to complain I never get a chance to read anymore. I had to make an extra effort to take the time to read. It's so rewarding to be able to say I finally finished a book.
Everyone need time to recharge and refuel. You'll be a better caregiver, when you take care of yourself. Like you said, "You can put a price on sanity". Best wishes to you.
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