By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Please try these things: Go to your state Web site and type in "aging" to see what help pops up. Also type in "disability."
Follow any links that may be helpful. They should have a National Family Caregiver Support Program and these folks may be a good resource for you.
Try to dial 2-1-1, like you would 9-1-1, on your phone. Many states (not all) have this connection to social services of all type.
Also, I think you should see an attorney. See where, in your state, you can go for what is called "pro bono" help - free. There are attorney's who do this sort of work on the side. Even if you can't find a free one, you should try to find legal help. You need to have your friend make certain you are taken care of. There must be records of the care you've given him. Use those for your case. Social services may be able to direct you.
Good luck with all of this. It's no wonder you are scared. Please let us know how you are doing.
Carol
Hang in there. You are doing what is best for your friend. However I agree with J - you need to take care of yourself and secure your financial future. Courts tend to favor the family. Get ready for a battle once your friend passes. Court proceedings may leave you financially and emotionally depelted.
If you are not employed, aside from caregiving, you may want to draw up a contract wherein you are paid for your services now. This is fair to both you and your friend.
Also, you may want to get some legal advice. As Carol mentioned, all states have a "Bar Association." Call them and find out where you can get free or low cost legal advice. And keep receipts and accurate records. I know it's a pain, but when you are dealing with vultures, you need to protect yourself.
good luck
Your story illustrates what I regard as a serious flaw in our legal system and culture. And that is that when someone creates a will or trust that heavlly denies the normal or expected family beneficiaries, that person should be required to spell out in detail the reasons for doing so.
I was a personal witness to a shining example of this. My 104 year old grandmother had 3 sisters still alive about 10 years ago. One was a widow with no children and about $400,000 saved up over the years. When she died it was revealed that one of the other sisters was the sole beneficiary. Turns out that several years prior the beneficiary sister had taken the deceased sister to visit a family friend lawyer and made this secret arrangement. The deceased sister was basically ignorant, never worked, and was half daffy. Creating a situation of "undue influence" with her was probably a piece of cake.
My thinking is that it is a pretty lame system that allows someone of ordinary or worse intelligence, and no special talents, to "steal" $400,000 that easily. One obvious remedy would be to require the party writing the will or trust to spell out explicitly in their own words why the other equal parties are being excluded. Minimum of 100 words. Maybe even require that a few sentences be written directly addressing each of the parties who are being shorted.
Was the reason for the disparity that the one sister took her shopping on several ocassions? Had nice hair? What's the real story? If nothing else, the slighted parties would at least know why they were being disregarded.
Well, personally that case was not a big deal to me, since it would have been "unearned wealth" for all the sisters. But it still illustrates a very stupid flaw in our way of doing things.
In your case, what I would like to see is that your friend informed his family at the time the trust was created. A letter of consent or agreement from each of the concerned family members would be even better. With that in hand, you would be in a much better position today.
I think that what Lilliput said, "If you are not employed, aside from caregiving, you may want to draw up a contract wherein you are paid for your services now. This is fair to both you and your friend." is the key to everything. If you are truly performing a valuable service to your friend, and both you and your friend intend compensation for it, it ABSOLUTELY must be pay as you go.
I'm wondering about a couple of points you left out.
First, what does your friend think about this situation RIGHT NOW? Does he want to honor his original agreement?
Second, what is your living arrangement? Are you living in his house? Is that going to be the bulk of his estate?