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It’s too late now for you to try this, but I was told (and witnessed) that the last sense to go is hearing. The doctor who came a few hours before the end (my mother died at home) bent down and almost shouted in her ear, and she clearly heard and responded facially. Your mother’s ‘help me’ look could well have been simply about wanting to communicate, to tell you that she loved you, to say that everything was all right. Just holding her hand, which I am sure you did, was what she needed. Give yourself the peace of mind that she now has. Yours, Margaret
And I'm sorry for your loss.
I am sorry that your mother appeared to suffer at the end. Does your Hospice organization provide counseling? I would start with them.
Please understand that we are only lay people and we can't possibly know the the particular technical details of what was happening inside your mother's body. It would be much the best thing for you to make an appointment to see your mother's hospice team and ask them to explain the process as it happened, step by step.
The only other suggestion I have for you is to ask: was your mother given any medication to reduce the secretions from her airways? - but don't jump to any conclusions about this. If she wasn't, there may have been very good reasons why not; or even if she was they may just not have worked well enough to prevent the symptoms.
I hope you and your sister will be able to come to terms with what happened over time. Wishing you comfort.