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Wishing you the best of luck with all of this.
AND if mom is in need of a caregiver and you take on that role then you get paid for the care that you give.
All this should be worked out and agreed upon BEFORE mom moves in. And there should be a WRITTEN agreement for both the expenses and for caregiving.
Oh, by ALL household expenses I am also talking about Insurance, property taxes, mortgage, water, sewer, garbage, newspaper, cable. And if you go on vacation mom pays for Respite stay in a local facility or pays for an increase of caregivers for the time you are gone.
I also grocery shop for her and make at least 60% of her meals so I have a separate monthly withdrawal for her share of groceries. Her SS barely covers any of this but she doesn't have many other expenses or needs anymore at 95.
I am basically her on-call caregiver (and now chauffer) who allows her to live semi-independently and comfortably in her home.
This plus, the cost of living nowadays, is necessary and more than fair.
I spent none of my own money on my mother until she was on Medicaid. She did live with me for 20 months but she had a house, for sale, that needed to be maintained. Her SS went for that. Her small pension of $200 a month, went to what she needed thru the month. I never felt guilty for using her money on her. Thats what its there for.
PS This is what my friend's Mother told him - all his life.
These long held views caused him much guilt & grief.
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