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And possibly rent .
It should not cost you a dime . If you quit your job , that is costing you .
There is a stigma about taking money from an elderly parent. When my father in law wanted a smart phone , my DH added him to our plan but made his Dad pay the $50 monthly increase to our bill .
DH caught a lot of grief for that . People thought it was petty and cheap and how could you take the $50 from him . The old man had more money than us . Why would I pay for his phone ?
I don’t understand why people thought we should pay for his phone service . The phone itself was “ free “ when adding it to our service plan for 3 years . Father in law got a good deal .
PS father in law died . We are stuck now paying his $50 a month for the next two years anyway.
If there are 3 people living in the house she would pay 1/3 of all expenses.
And...adding to that if you are doing HANDS ON caregiving tasks she should be paying you for that as well in addition to household expenses. (check your area for the hourly rate for caregivers you will probably find that the rate is between $25 and $40 per hour)
If she were living anywhere else she would have to pay these very same expenses.
She would have to pay for a caregiver as well.
Proof of any payments to you that these payments are for her expenses both household and personal caregiving expenses takes it out of the realm of a "gift" to you so that if there is ever a need to apply for Medicaid there is no question that the money paid to you is for living expenses and caregiving.
I would never expect any family member to take me in and give me "free food, housing and caregiving" without proper compensation. Actually I would NEVER put family in the position to care for me, it just is not fair to them.
I spent none of my own money on my mother until she was on Medicaid. She did live with me for 20 months but she had a house, for sale, that needed to be maintained. Her SS went for that. Her small pension of $200 a month, went to what she needed thru the month. I never felt guilty for using her money on her. Thats what its there for.
I also grocery shop for her and make at least 60% of her meals so I have a separate monthly withdrawal for her share of groceries. Her SS barely covers any of this but she doesn't have many other expenses or needs anymore at 95.
I am basically her on-call caregiver (and now chauffer) who allows her to live semi-independently and comfortably in her home.
This plus, the cost of living nowadays, is necessary and more than fair.
I personally think it is fair for an adult to pay their way. Housing, bills, food, medicine all cost. It may be hard to calculate 'care' costs, but hopefully you can find a suitable amount that seems fair.
PS This is what my friend's Mother told him - all his life.
These long held views caused him much guilt & grief.
Wishing you the best of luck with all of this.
AND if mom is in need of a caregiver and you take on that role then you get paid for the care that you give.
All this should be worked out and agreed upon BEFORE mom moves in. And there should be a WRITTEN agreement for both the expenses and for caregiving.
Oh, by ALL household expenses I am also talking about Insurance, property taxes, mortgage, water, sewer, garbage, newspaper, cable. And if you go on vacation mom pays for Respite stay in a local facility or pays for an increase of caregivers for the time you are gone.