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If the funds you have allotted for private take care exceed her lifetime to the extent that she would still own the property at the time of her death, the property is "stepped up" in basis. The new basis is the value of the property on the day of her death. Example: if she bought the property for $5000 and put in $1000 of improvement, the "basis" is $6000. If you then sell it for $106,000, your mom pays capital gain on $100K. BUT, if you are able to hold onto it until her death, and it's worth $120,000 on the day of her death, the basis is "stepped up" to $120,000. If you sell the house the next day, the capital gain is $120K minus $120K ir "zero" so there is no capital gains tax.
So you see, there's a financial trade off whichever way you go which is why you want to make sure you know what the options are and why you're doing what it is you're doing.
1. Who are the "Settlors", i.e., the persons who executed the Trust? Was it your father or your father and your mother?
2. If both your parents executed (and created) the Trust, there should have been provisions (as well as a Pour-Over Will) addressing how his assets were to be handled on his death, as well as succession of trust management (i.e., your mother assumes his responsibilities).
3. If your mother was a co-Settlor, she could still make changes; that's correct.
However, if your father executed the Trust for him and your mother, and she's now a Trustee rather than a co-Settlor, that's a different story.
4. Is your mother unable to make decisions, and/or does she have cognitive functions that render her unable to manage the Trust? Is this provision in the Trust itself or in a separate POA?
5. I would try different banks to get a HELOC to finance your mother's care. I went to 4 different banks when I needed to get a HELOC to maintain and repair my sister's house after her death, and found that most of them had no idea how to deal with a Trust. Only Chase put me directly in contact with the trust legal team in another state so we could work out the details. The 3 other banks were clueless.
Back to the issue - what exactly is the wording about irrevocability? Something's missing here - a trust doesn't become irrevocable generally after one of the Settlors dies.