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It sounds like you're having anxiety issues more than anything else, and afraid to do things for yourself independently now. Have you seen your doctor to discuss your anxiety and possible depression? There are meds and therapy available to help you. Anxiety can cause fuzzy thinking. So can being 100% taken care of for your whole adult life. You DO have the ability to care for yourself, you just don't realize it! Go see your doctor right away.
In your last post to us, you were given some good advice about downsizing. Did you read the comments? Not all are appropriate because we didn't know you were 57 when you posted.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-late-husband-was-the-money-maker-and-i-stayed-home-i-need-help-with-the-mortgage-note-488030.htm
Do contact the social security administration to apply for your late husband's social security benefits if you haven't already done so. Also your local VA office to see if any benefits at all are available to you. An elder care attorney can advise you as well.
Good luck.
Call your Social Service office and see what kind of help u can get. Also, ur ffice of Aging.
Perhaps the most straightforward thing to do would be to find a job which gives you some income and some co-workers to become your friends. You need that, even when you do turn 60, 65 or 70 and have more hope of getting some ‘benefits’. Unless you qualify for intellectual disability benefits, you simply MUST stand on your own feet.
Is it worth tracking down any ‘family’ you once had? Did your DH alienate them? He sounds very controlling, even if that's not how you think of him.