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If I were you,I would consult with an Elder Law Attorney who is familiar with the laws in Texas. He/she can explain what you need to do to recuse yourself from POA, what papers need to be signed and how to deal with APS.
As your father and stepmother's POA, you would represent them and act for them. You would in no way be liable to pay for them.
So Medicaid applications, researching care options, organising placements - these are the tasks that need doing, and somebody needs to do them because obviously they can't do it themselves, and the only remaining question is whether you are happy for that to be done by strangers - albeit professional strangers, who know their business and are paid to carry it out - or whether you want to be the person who makes the decisions. As far as there are any decisions to make, that is. The options may be very limited.
So to answer the question - no worries, you can resign your POA, you'd better find out and write down a list of people to notify and then go ahead and do that.
But don't do it simply because you can't fund their care. That is not part of the POA's role.
You DO NOT NEED TO ACCEPT POA. No one can force you to step in and deal with this situation. I would tell APS that you do not want anything to do with it and it is all them. That's what that agency exists for, they seem to think it's just so they get a paycheck and benefits. Let them know under no uncertain terms you are not going to jump in and rescue these 2 adults. It is a horrid situation but if you are not able, willing or ... then be firm and give it to APS, they should know all the proper procedures to ensure something happens quickly. Yes, the state will assign a guardian and be responsible for them if no one steps up to accept responsibility.
I hope that makes sense.
Here's the thing. I love my Dad very much. My stepmom too, but she has made things very difficult these last few years and believes they are loaded rich (which they definitely are not). But her resistance of the last few years to let us help them to set a budget, save money, etc has be a huge hurdle and now they literally have very little left. They will be broke soon. They live off social security, have no retirement and don't even have medicaid which I have begging her to let me fill out the paperwork and have her sign a form to apply on their behalf. She refused. So here we are.
Adult Protective Services advised me that they spoke with my parents physician (who has been less than helpful to us until now) and he is now ready to sign off that they are incapable of finances, medical decisions, etc. When he does that I am automatically POA. The APS workers has advised that I must remove the car (which should be done by someone no matter what because my stepmom insists she is allowed to drive), either ensure they have home health care based on the hours the doctor thinks they need (which is costly and part of why their account is almost drained), or place them in a home...all while ensuring all of their medical needs are met, finances are in order etc. So I explained they cannot afford it and she said family will have to step in. But I know we are not obligated. And even if we get them into a home, their mortgage has to be paid until the house sells. The house needs work which will cost money, and they only bought the house about 4 years ago. Based on condition it's not likely they have much if any equity and if they do, it would only pay for a realtor...if that. So managing their living expenses and their bills with their limited funds is not possible.
Again, on top of that I live about 3 hours away, have a full time career and family. I feel selfish in some way, but I cannot manage that situation.
My family and I agree, recusing is probably the best option for them...but I need to know that the state will step in.
So, essentially, she never answered my question.
JoAnn29, what about the mortgage? If they still owe on it, how will the mortgage get paid if their SS goes to their care?
Ahmijoy, I just got the call from Adult Protective Services yesterday so I am wrapping my brain around all of this. The kicker is, an attorney costs money. That's why I was hoping to be able to recuse by sending my StepMom and Dad the recusal via certified mail (with signature) and a copy to the APS lady. Not sure if she will be forced to step in then since there is no one else in line.
When I called for the appointment I was pretty clearly skeptical that this would be free. The woman told me "We give free talks all over the county all the time giving this information and answering questions. There is no charge for a consultation." And there wasn't. There was only a charge for legal work we asked them to do.
aren't paid, the bank will handle the sale of the house from there and medicaid will deal with the bank. At this stage, bad credit won't matter. Do what you can live with.
You cannot be made POA unless you signed the document. I am for both of my parents and would not reliquish that duty no matter what a PITA it is, and that has nothing to do with who has to pay the bills. It means you get to make decisions on their behalf... if you don't want to do that, even though it means no financial responsibility then recuse it.
The woman who suggests you find and elder law attorney that offers a free consultation is an excellent recommendation. That is what we did and got all our answers straight, and then later did have a little contract work done by them. Still very low cost and high benefit.
There is Medicaid, and in our state an "Elderly Waiver" for those unable to afford a nursing home can be applied for, providing state funding.
Make sure you can live with your decision. Good luck.
If, on the other hand, they have equity in the house AND are still able to live there, consider a reverse mortgage. It's not for everyone, but when elders have run out of all resources except the equity in their home, they can get a reverse mortgage (which will first pay off the original outstanding mortgage), and when they are no longer living there, the home will be sold, the reverse mortgage paid off, and if there is a shortfall, the mortgage company takes the loss. That's one reason the initial fees are so high. They can use the money to pay for care, and to make repairs so the home is suitable for them to remain in.
But you are going to need someone to manage all of this, if not you yourself as their agent under POA, then a court-appointed guardian/conservator. Which itself is a costly and intrusive process. And as others have pointed out, you will no longer have the responsibility, but you won't get to have any input either. What would your Dad want? And are you able to do that for him?
No you are not financially liable should you decide to become Guardianship/conservator.
YES, the State will step in to care for them.
That care will be, have the house placed as protected, provided they qualify the State will pay for their care
Once both are deceased, the State will sell the house to recover the money spent to care for them
They will be placed in a Medicare run facility
I have a membership, a lot of people think these businesses are a rip off, with Justanswer.com
Even though my Mother lives in our home State of AZ, the community property laws run pretty much parallel as having been Territorial Law. There are only 9 States that have laws very similar to each other.
I 99.9999% request to discuss my issues with Ray. He is a retired Texas Estate Attorney and has been THE greatest help for me; I've been consulting with him for close to 2.5 yrs now anticipating the moment I would finally be the one to take care of Mom.
For me, it's worth the $46 a month. You can have him call you @$59 and talk as long as needed. You can ask questions as often as needed via the website. If he doesn't have the answer within 10 minutes, he'll let you know and he researches everything. I have waited up to a day to get an answer, he provided chapter and verse under AZ law for me.
Being your parents POA does not make you responsible for funding their care. As POA you would be responsible for handling their affairs.
The suggestion from APS for the family to step up might have been in a financial sense. But, it could have just meant to step up and handle their affairs.
If you want no part of being POA you do need to see an Elder Care Attorney, take the POA document with you and resign the duty. Let the Attorney notify all parties. You do need to see an attorney ASAP.
If your Stepmom has been or will be soon deemed incompetent she shouldn’t be allowed to walk out of a facility AFTER she has been declared incompetent to make her own decisions.
Contact Dept of Public Safety, where you get your drivers license renewed, they can assist in getting Stepmoms drivers license revoked, definitely after the Dr issues the letter, possibly before.
DO NOT sign any documents regarding placing your parents in a facility! There may be wording in these documents that will attempt to hold you financially responsible!
The state does not want to take over as guardian because of the expense to the state. However, as good taxpayers, we did pay in and can receive those benefits. If you allow the state to take over, there is nothing to prevent the parents from being moved to the farthest corner of rural Texas where they could be 6 hours from you instead of 3. Do you want to have them close where you can visit?
If you do want them close, you can hire a care manager to make things happen. As POA, you are able to assign limited duties to others, like moving them into a medicaid funded home. If sMIL is uncooperative, you might have to get guardianship of her, and simply have POA over dad. I'm sure APS will be helpful with you obtaining guardianship to get her off their caseload. They can file the guardianship papers and ask for you to be assigned guardianship, in which case since they are filing you would not have to pay for the atty or the filing fee.