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If you give up the poa you are giving up the power to direct his care as you see fit, can you imagine having to go begging to one of your sibs to spend his money to buy those Depends?
I like all of your suggestions and am feeling so much better knowing there are options out there, and that I'm not trapped and unappreciated. I've decided my siblings, although from the same womb, are inconsiderate and self-absorbed people. My sibling in CA, recently posted about a $1,000 bottle of wine, and her two-week wine trip; needless to say, she hasn't been to see our dad since last spring because she can't afford to stay in a hotel and rent a car while she's here. She won't stay at my house because she doesn't like my dogs...ugh, see here I go again. By thinking of these things, I get so damn mad.
At any rate, my feelings are so scrambled because I feel bad for my dad, yet, I'm angry toward my siblings for either not helping at all, or refusing to provide any kind of financial support. What's more, I want to spare any dignity that may be left for my dad by not having to change his Depends every time he visits my home or I take him out to dinner. It's getting harder and harder. I could go on and on, but it only depresses me more.
I want to make someone else responsible for my dad, I don't want to do it alone any longer. 😢