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I'm very sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies and condolences. I know it hurts a lot. I think the first year is the hardest. Please know you are not alone and things will get better but there is no fixed time. There is a lot of information and support online. I tried to read as much as possible to calm my mind.
Thinking of you. Sending you love and hugs.
I remember feeling awful after my mom died. And after my dad died. But yes, you will recover. To paraphrase BarbBrooklyn, in time you will heal.
My mom died in early November years ago and in December I went to Target to buy my daughter a TV for Christmas. A young man who worked there was helping me pick one out and not being able to find what I wanted I unleashed on this poor kid. My brother was with me and he just stared at me and said, "What is wrong with you??" I called the kid from Target when I got home and I apologized to him but I can share with you that a wave of anger hit me that had nothing to do with the kid from Target and had everything to do with the death of my mom.
So yes, be gentle with yourself. It's very early in your grieving process. Don't expect too much from yourself right now. Don't make any major changes or life decisions. You are going to feel sad, that's normal. Death of a parent is sad.
These are early days, please be kind and gentle with yourself. Time is a great healer.