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It is 100% OK to grieve. When your heart aches, know the cause is LOVE.
Have you got some photos of good times you shared near you?
Saying I love you out loud to her picture everyday is OK too 💜
Hope in time you find purpose in life.
Your Bride is at peace now. It sounds like she had many struggles, and struggled through them , so you and her could have more time.
You did the very you could, she new your love for her, and I'm sure you gave her a beautiful life, as she did for you.
You can get through this, so the hurt is less over time. She is alive in your memories.
🙏😥
You will get through this. Just know that she knew how much you loved her. I can see it through your post, as well. I wish you much healing.
I hope that in this loss you have known and feared so long that you will at some point be able to look at the relief of an end to her suffering. No one should have to go on longer in a crucible of suffering because we cannot give them up. When I lost my dear brother I lost the man who had stood Hansel to my Gretel in every dark woods. I could not imagine a life without him and his support, without knowing I could share with him. But he had been diagnosed with probable early Lewy's dementia, and he knew what it would mean to him, and so greatly feared the loss of himself to this disease. He longed to die before it could get him, and he did, one and one half years after his diagnosis and before he could suffer. It would have killed me to see him go through agony. I would so rather see him go to his peace. I was so thankful he was able to. BUT do I miss knowing he is here? Oh, my. There aren't words to talk about that.
Do know, flyguy, that your love and your memories and ALL you shared, the good and the bad will never leave you. She will always be there with you. I am so very very sorry. But she was so very lucky to have you to see her through that dark woods.
There is nothing more you could have done.
And it also sounds like she lived much longer than others in her same medical condition.
It hurts! It hurts for a long time. (after 8 years I still hurt. Sometimes more, sometimes less)
You are raw right now.
Please give yourself time to grieve.
The week my husband died I was sitting by his bed and talking to him and I was crying. I suddenly thought ..these tears are selfish ones. I am crying because I am going to lose him, I am going to miss him, I was the one hurting....it was all me, me, me. He would not have wanted to continue to live the way he was, a shell of the person I fell in love with 30+ years before. No longer did he laugh, no longer were his blue eye twinkling, this was not him. I told him I was going to miss him but I was going to be alright. He died a day later. (It still felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest .. sometimes it still does)
Be kind to yourself.
Please seek out Bereavement sessions. Hospice often will have sessions, your local church or place of worship. Or contact your doctor for referrals.
Crying is a way your eyes speak when your mouth can't explain how broken your heart is.
And you are right....you could not fix her. But you also didn't cause her illnesses, and I hope in time you'll be able to move forward being thankful that your bride no longer has to suffer.
I would recommend getting some grief counseling either with the support group Grief Share or through hospice(if your wife was under their care at the end)or elsewhere, as that will help you see that life does go on and that life is good, even without your bride.
I know it doesn't seem that way now, but give it time.
And cry all you want as "crying is a way that your eyes speak when your mouth cannot explain how broken your heart is."
I pray that God will give you His comfort, peace and strength in the days, weeks and months ahead.
Thinking of you as you mourn your dear bride. 💐