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Stella's got to get her groove back...
I don't want to sound corny but the whole world is yours. Look at the situation with the Ukrainians how their through no fault of their own has been uprooted. The men must stay behind and fight, the elderly too frail to leave and start anew and the women and children must board a train and leave their life behind.
I am not writing this to make you feel look how others have it. The Pandemic was rough on everyone. The good news is things are starting to gradually blossom again.
It's a tough situation, don't kid yourself, caregiving but you know you need to make a change. Go in your closet start cleaning out everything you don't want in your dwelling and list it on "The Buy Nothing Project". You can join through Facebook and it's by zip codes. Basically you're donating to a neighbor. You can give (donate), ask etc. No $$$ or bartering is expected. You are helping others in your town and meeting new people.
The best thing I ever did in my life was go to Church. I know more people, get invited more places and a lot of my jobs have come through other parishioners.
When I go into the market I meet people and know their names from Church.
The online computer stuff is not enough...you need people. Sounds like you need a vacation. What about your neighbors. When you go to the market bring them back a few tomatoes. Easter is coming buy a pot of tulips and give them to a neighbor.
A good pair of sneakers t-shirt and sweats and put one foot in front of the other. You will have more energy, feel better about life and meet the neighbors. Drinks lots of water. I'm a big fan of the Y for exercise, indoor pool, socialization NOT the computer. You need a group to go for coffee with. Not a million people but just a handful so if you are missing in action they check up on you.
You need a new normal. A new routine. Maybe a new hairstyle. I don't know what town you live in but check SalonApprentice.com (need hair models, some are no charge).
This is Lent lots of Church activities, Easter festivities. You don't have to join a million things but something that you like to do. Have you tried MEETUP in your area, there is everything but I recommend keep it simple, close to home.
It's probably best if you go "out" to work as opposed to working online. How about a hostess, a flower shop for Easter and Mother's Day. Find your neighborhood flower shop and ask them if they need help for Easter, Commencement and Mother's Day, Wedding Season will soon be upon us.
Have faith sister...the Lord provides. The fact that you're reaching out you are ready for change. Why not go blonde!!! And get a nice Wet 'N Wild Cherry Pickering #965 lipstick! You go Girl!
Hope this helped.
You still may wind up now and then feeling the way you do now--life ebbs and flows, as you know--but if you don't learn how to step out of this funk, it could lead to depression/further depression, anxiety, etc.
If you feel it's mild depression and don't want to figure out how to pull yourself out, see a doctor. The pills might make you feel better, but then I think you'll find yourself taking them with no end in sight b/c you didn't discover tools to try and help lift yourself.
I find personal ways to alter how I feel (and I'm largely an introvert), and usually I'm pleased with the results, while a friend of mine visits her doctor for a script. We're all different. You might need a boost to get your engine runnin'.
Do what you will but do something. Every day. One little thing that needs to be done but you haven't done (sense of accomplishment can often lift our spirits) or something you'd like to do but haven't.
I believe with all my heart, and this is how I try to live, that we help ourselves best when we are helping others....so....what about volunteer work? There can be as little commitment as you want, generally, but it gets you out, you interact, you help others, maybe build a friendship or little group that goes out for brunch and bloody Mary's.
If you've had pets before, maybe adopt an older, calmer animal. One you know you can care for, know how to care for, and can afford. I don't need to be around people but I can't live without animals. (In 62 years, I've only lived five days of my entire life since I was born that I didn't have my lovely beasts.)
Lots of love and light....Big hugs, too.