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What will you do about this?
Can you tell us?
I welcome you as a new member. I can only hope you will stick around and you will soon learn that many have learned, here, to make different choices for their lives.
Sence I've put my boundaries up things have been better, for me anyways. 😆, I'm sure mom misses her favorite tomatoes at her favorite farm stand but , she will live without them, and I don't worry about it anymore, or hold any guilt that , my poor mom has to eat store bought tomatos.
Also I told mom, which doctors appointment I will do and , someone else is going to have to do the others. This did NOT make mom happy. She recently had this huge secret stuff going on, and wouldnt tell me. I figured out she got new hearing aids and won't tell me. Lol because that's the one doctors I won't take her to.
So put your boundaries down, expect some push back and resentments from mom. Ignore it!!
I honestly got mom in the car one day, explained all I've done, for her and that without me , her health would never be as good as it is, and if she would even be here today, who knows. I also told her, her and dad got to enjoy their retirement, and that's exactly what I'm going to start doing from now on. It's only fair. She listened, didn't say much but she did listen.
I also think you should start thinking about the future, of how much you are willing to do and how much you aren't willing to do. And make it very clear with mom and family.
As for appreciation, don't expect much of that.
You are now the mom, mom is now the preteen 🤔.
Start looking into alternatives before you totally burn yourself out.
You deserve better. Stop being a caregiver slave and screwing your own life doing it.
At the top of the page you will see a blue/green bar... click on the CARE TOPICS which has a lot of excellent articles. Feel free to write on the forum as much as you want, there are many of us current/former caregivers here to help you with this complex journey :)