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Where is your mother or the son/daughter of your grandmother? Why isn't that person responsible for his or her mother's care and/or her placement in a senior living residence?
My grandmother lived in my home for 25 years while I was growing up; from before I was born until I moved out/got kicked out at 18. I was never responsible for her in any way; my mother was, since that was HER mother who she had invited there to begin with.
I think you need to take your OWN mental and physical health into consideration now, especially if grandma is developing dementia/Alzheimer's. Let me tell you, that affliction is THE worst thing on earth to deal with at home, and you'll need nerves of steel and then some to even consider doing it.
Let your family know that you are officially resigning from the role of being care taker to grandma & it's time for one of THEM to step up. You love her and you love them, but enough is enough. It's time for you to move OUT and get your own place, free and clear of everything and everybody. That is how life is supposed to work. If you're thinking or being told otherwise, you're being sold a pig in a poke.
Wishing you the best of luck standing up for YOUR rights now! You deserve to!
It’s very tiring trying to balance; my work life, physical and mental health, & then worrying whether my my grandma is gonna make it.
You are too young to carry this burden. I am amazed at the grandchildren that show up on this forum. It blows my mind.
It is completely evident that you love your grandmother but you are going way beyond what should be done by a grandchild.
Contact others to help, her children and perhaps a social worker to help you plan her care.
Don’t ask your family for help. Tell them that you are no longer going to be the primary caregiver for your grandmother. It simply isn’t your responsibility. Place the ball in their court.
Best wishes to you.