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Would you like to say a little more about the context in which this is happening? What are you and your sister each doing in terms of caregiving, and what are the misunderstandings about mainly?
I think if you are doing 90% of the work, you are entitled to run the ship as you see fit and it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job.
When siblings live hours away, they do not realize how stressful the caregiving job is. They also believe every word the elderly parent with dementia tells them and they act on it. I have gone through this with a sibling who lives across the state. She constantly tells me I am WRONG and that is not what mother told HER. So much confusion.
Managing an elderly is hard on all families. Some are better equipped to handle caregiving and POA duties and others may not be there physically but could help monetarily or come visit for a week and give you a vacation.
Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.