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About Me
EMT eldest of four daughters 3 living-estranged from sister who lives close and has first name on health care proxy form that we are all on. I am struggling to find a way to have her bullying behavior not supported by hospital which has allowed her over control of me to cut visiting hours. She is attempting to profile me as disruptive when she is the one engaging in these behaviors which she blames on me- with outbursts in front of staff and mother. I have proof on video but hospital wants to streamline and is allowing her bullying of them also.
Your mother has enough issues as it is without adding you and sister "having outbursts" to the list! Respect the limited visiting hours and your mother's ill health by acting like adults, that's my advice.
Quite honestly, without a whole lot of history. information. and personal knowledge of the personalities/situation involved, and with those of us on the Forum getting always "one side" of the "siblings at war" stories, It's difficult to make judgements.
This is something without an answer from an international forum of caregivers. We can only provide you our sympathy, and wish you the best.
IMHO the greatest tragedy a weakened and failing senior can be witness to is the warfare of her own children, one against the other.
Your Mom has rights. She has a right to see who she wants when she wants within visiting hours. She also has the right to tell Sis if she doesn't settle down, she will have her banned. Which is what Mom needs to do.
Did the hospital give you certain hours and sister certain hours so you weren't there at the same time? If not, I would bring this to the Social Workers attn. When Sis became out of control, did you scream at her? If you did, maybe the hospital felt you were the problem since Sister's outburst was because of you. Not saying you instigated it just that you being there set her off.
The only way you can deal with a problem like this is not be there when Sis is. The Hospital remedied it by giving you certain hours.
I am with NY daughter. Don't engage with sister. Let the staff see who is the problem.
She has already apparently availed herself of Social Services if she has already been denied access, I do believe.
It is a pet peeve of mine when children bicker and are disruptive as 2 year olds in the face of the illness of an older parent. I think they should be prevented from contact unless the patient (mom or dad) asks to see them. In that case I think a visit with social worker present might work.
As JoAnn says, this is likely a fluid situation, if ongoing.
A change in attitude by our OP may get her past the Lioness at the Gate.