By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
He has regular visits now with a neuro dr, eye dr (glaucoma), psychiatrist and pc dr. He has become so frail that I could tap him like I do the grandbaby to burp him and my husband would fall over. I did give him an older tablet that I had and his family photos are there to look at, it has certain sites blocked and all of his searches appear on my computer because I synced it to it.
This sounds controlling but, a week after I destroyed his phone, there was a HUGE raid in our county and surrounding ones because the porn was underaged participants. We were lucky our door wasn't kicked in.
I realized that was the cause of the change in his personality. It wasn't "sin" but rather mental sickness that he can't control. So here we are, three and a half years later, things have gotten worse, especially the super-spirituality. I know from the support of folks here that there is no going back, he won't get better, and I now understand that "it is the dementia talking" and not him.
The filters are slowly turning off and you will watch more change happen in your husband. And sadly you can't reverse that. You will hang on until you know the time has come for him to live a safer place. The best thing you can do right now, I think, is find local support or online support (online is my only option). I am so grateful for a group of ladies that I have been online with since the mid-90s.
Make sure all your legal papers are in order. Fortunately we did that after watching a friend deal with so much when her mother died suddenly at a young age. We realized we needed to spare our children from that so got everything drawn up ten years ago. You need more than just a DPOA.
Tall to his Dr about it.
Pray about it and ask husband how you can help him.
Sounds like he may be lonely and bored.
Maybe ya'll need to talk to someone together.
As for the impulse control issues. Please consider installing child controls on all phones, computers, and televisions to curb this behavior. Men tend to be "visual" in their desires, so control the visual input he receives since the world sure won't.
It was maybe for the best that he started this behavior when he did. It helped me to realize the extent of his condition at the time, which he had hidden fairly well. It gave me the impetus to get POA's made, look at his business affairs that were suffering and get control of those as well, and start to put together a plan for he and my mother knowing they would need assistance in the near future. It is a long and arduous journey, I wish you the best!!
The boundaries of behavior in his brain are going away due to disease. Maybe between medications for him and redirection of him to other interests, you can find some peace. He is the same man, but with a brain disease.
I think I'll leave it there. What matters most, surely, is how you and he decide to manage life for the best going forward.
Other people, among them your therapist and lawyer, may think it's best you face up to less palatable possibilities about the past but I don't agree that would help you. Look forward and decide between the two of you what your priorities are going to be now.