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My father had a cerebral haemorrhagic stroke and the burhole clit evacuasurgery cost around 10 000£ equivalent in my country's currency, and sister who recea handsome dowry of money and property refused to pay for his surgery- she was the apple of his eye, and even refused to visit him when he was terminal thinking that she would have to personally attend to his personal care, and in the end requested money from his last will to cover for the expenses of the hospital room bills, without any additional treatment. Without the surgery he died within a month. Am I the only one who sees her as narcissistic b***h? What kind of petty revenge is perfect in this situation?

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Your assessment of your sister’s personality appears to be pretty accurate to me! She sounds just like my neighbor’s daughter and my cousin. Study up on narcissism and sociopathy. There is plenty of good information on the Internet. It helped me greatly…….If your sister is truly any of the above she would be, at best, indifferent to what you would do and at worst, potentially, somewhat dangerous. Besides, why waste your time, peace of mind and energy on a person who cares about nothing and no one save herself.. You did what was right and kind by your father. The universe will take care of your sister without need for you to lower yourself to her selfish and petty level which would only make you feel badly to be behaving as would she. Revenge against your sister? Ignore her……..Live your life with happiness and joy, and filled with many good friends and teeming with love. Let that be your revenge.
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The perfect revenge, is for you to let go of this be happy, and probably keep your sister out of your life

Nothing good comes from revenge, nothing but more hurt , more pain for you

You can't change your sister, so let it all go. You can't force someone to care , you can't force someone to help you.

You only hurt YOU. So stop hurting yourself and move on from this, anger resentments, are ugly, boil away eat away at your mental and physical health
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Revenge on your sister won’t bring your father back , or make your grief any better .
Condolences on your loss . Perhaps speak with a therapist , and/or grief counselor to help you.
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Your best weapon against a Narcissist is total ice cold silence. Block her phone number, defriend her on all social media, refuse to talk to her and if you do have to talk to her, make your responses short, brief and without emotion. Go to youtube and watch some Richard Grannon www.youtube.com/shorts/CJefnSY_O6c
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None. I agree with others to not have a relationship with her since we can choose our friends but we don't get to choose our family members. We do get to choose how much or how little we interact with them.

Holding a grudge is like you drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Don't do it.

May you receive peace in your heart as you grieve your losses.
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Revenge will not bring your father back and shouldn’t make you feel any better. What will bring you healing is to forgive, heal and move forward. I’m sorry for the loss of your father. He was terminal, would have died one day as we all will, expecting it to be different is unrealistic. I wish you peace and acceptance
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It is not the responsibility of a child to pay a parent’s medical bills.
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Rather than focus on revenge, you need to focus on your wellbeing. I am sorry for your loss. However, your need for revenge is too overwhelming for your mental health. I think your are displacing your grief and turning it into the need for revenge and this will only hurt you and those that you do love.

I suggest therapy to work through the grief and focus on your happiness for your present and future. Wishing you the best during this difficult time.
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No one here is going to advise you on how to get revenge on your sister or anyone else.

You chose to attend to your father's care. YOU chose that. Not your sister. So now there's no coin in your pocket over it, you want to take it out on her.

Grow up. Apparently, your father liked your sister better than you. That's why he gave her the money. That's not your fault. You didn't do anything to have made him do that. Why would you even want a 'dowry'? What is this the medieval times? Would you really want to be married to a man who had to be paid to have you? I wouldn't. You're better than that. Every woman is.

Get over it and move on with your life. Taking revenge will only get YOU into trouble.

Also, if you don't have sense enough to know better than to ask a group of global strangers in an internet support group how to get revenge on someone,work on bettering yourself.

Move on with your own life and forget about your sister and what your father gave her. That's not going to help you or improve your life any. Good luck to you.
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We don't have both sides of the story. You do not say how old Dad was? At a certain age the pros and cons have to be weighed. Sometimes surgery can do more harm than good. It also may not prolong someones life that long to put a person thru the pain especially if the person suffers from Dementia. Your Dads hospital bills should be paid out of his estate. Here in tge US, if no money after death the bills incurred don't get paid. Family is not held responsible. We also have children who will not care for a parent. We have no laws that say they must. I agree, Dad is gone. Have no contact with sister and move on.
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Your message to us is written with some confused vertiage and that makes me think there is some confusion in your thinking. This would be normal in a situation in which you are suffering extreme grief. Your father, it sounds, had a hemorrhagic stroke. Sadly, even with a burr hole to release blood and pressure upon the brain, by the time this is done, the damage to the brain is also done. And it sounds your father did pass. I am so very sorry for this loss. It is devastaging.

Grief counselors tell us that people who cannot face grief will often instead "choose " to become angry. Most often they are angry at hospitals, doctors, nurses, rehabs, ECFs, and etc. Sometimes however they become angry at family. Or even at themselves. I fear this may be the case for you.

When a person is in hospital their bills accumulate.
It they do not survive, then their bills are paid by their "executor" or the "administrator" (if there's no will) of their estate. Before distribution of the estate all bills are paid. This includes medical bills.
So, your sister is doing exactly the right thing.

You're expressing a wish to "get revenge"; this concerns me as to your mental wellness. You are thinking of criminal and immoral activity. I encourage you to seek immediately for yourself. I am very worried for you and believe you need mental health care. Avail yourself of an emergency room if needed, but seek help.
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Most here have enough crazy making on their plate as it is w/o adding "petty revenge plot-twists" to it.

My sincere condolences on the loss of your father and the actions your sister has chosen to take in his care. I wish you peace and healing in the days ahead rather than looking for ways to further your pain and suffering.
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Thank you all fot the answering, I mean by petty revenge, coz obviously going to court about a possible murder isn't the answer here. She has always been cold and narcissistic in her past. May be I should have posted in a blog about toxic sisters than old parents. There were some helpful answers, and most think I need grief counselling. Which I'm well through now. It's been a year. And my father was just 71 years when he died, and my mother is 71 now and she is well active and kicking, she does the cooking in the house because i have some exams coming and shes very stylish and looks young fir the age. So was my father. father was old, but still he wasn't frail, he used to be the one to drive us all to the town days before he got the fatal accident. He gave my sister most of his lives savings when she got married and at the same time my father was just admitted to icu for like one or two weeks.. and my sister has a job that pays her around 3000 £per month help me understand where I am wrong.. thanks for those who I drtood the real situation with some little bit of information I've given for privacy concerns.. I'm not sad. I'm just mad. Coz since my father died. My sister lives and continues to join family ceremonies like nothing bad happened..nothing rude said and done no neglect happened. and expect us to praise her for the salary and the handsome amount she received as dowry and the property she got from father..so basically we are inferior to her because she is rich now.
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Daughterof1930 18 hours ago
All the bitterness and resentment is consuming to you while your sister is living life enjoying herself. This petty revenge plot hurts only you. I hope you’ll move past it and find healing and peace
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What is the saying? The best revenge is a life well lived.
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I suppose your sister owes you another debt...
You are letting her live rent free in you brain and your heart.
Let it go.
You should not be responsible for your fathers debt. His estate will be.

Honor your fathers life by being the best that you can be.
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Since this thread really is not related to caregiving in any way, I am reporting it to be closed or removed.
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Vlistens 6 hours ago
How mean spirited. Before care, after care, it is all caring. Even when a loved one is deceased there are still legal, personal and emotional questions related to his or her care that need to be gone over and resolved. Cut people some slack. You never know when you may want or need advice and support
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Grief can come out in many ways. In this case, you are directing your anger towards your sister. Whose to say that the surgery would have saved him? What type of quality of life would he have had. Grief can cloud your mind with a bunch of what ifs. The bottom line is that it was his time.

Grief counseling can help you sort through the anger and negative thinking. You will lay this to rest in due time.

I wish you Peace in the coming days.
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Revenge hurts ONE person: the person who is seeking it.

Yeah, lots of movie plots have people seeking and exacting revenge upon someone who did them wrong--but that's the movies.


You can certainly think of 101 ways to show your anger and exact revenge and then where will you be? Angry and alone.

Very sorry your sister choose to do what she did, but that's life. People aren't nice, sometimes, and we have to adapt to that.

I was abused as a child by an OB. Did I want revenge? No, I wanted PEACE and that came at the expense of me forgiving HIM, eventually. No amount of money could give me back the innocence that a child deserves.

I hope you can find peace. Trust me, anger and thoughts of revenge will not give you the peace of heart that you really need.
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