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But then what if she goes into the kitchen and catches herself on fire?
She does not have dementia at all, other than she is confused to what time it is in the evening. But that comes and goes.
She does have aphasia, but understands all that I say. She laughs immediately at jokes (and even makes some herself with facial expressions) responds and remembers to do things I ask her to do on an ongoing basis i.e.: like how she should brush her teeth - I gave her new instructions on how to do it better, and now she follows it to a T.
And she only is confused when she has a UTI. When that happens, she doesn't remember how to do things etc, but once that is resolved, she is back 100%.
She knows who I am in the night and does what I tell her to do.
I think she is just not as sleepy at night anymore?
I am trying to let her only take a small nap in the morning (half hourish) and again in the afternoon.
I've begun using a S.A.D. lamp for her in the morning. Having her look at it for a half hour. At first she hated it, and pushed it away. Then I told her it was medicine and would help her be able to sleep more at night and think more clearly. She immediately wanted to do it and did it the entire time.
It can start with being confused about the time at night .
You can not "lock" her in the room, you know that.
You say she does not have dementia.
You can explain that if she gets up and wanders and falls she will end up in the hospital, then probably to rehab and at that point she may need more care than you can SAFELY manage at home.
If she understands this and she still gets up and wanders there is not much you can do. This is her choice to make.
She would do the same thing if she were living alone, in Assisted Living or if she had dementia and was in Memory Care.
What you do is wait. And hopefully nothing happens but you do need to have plans in place for the "just in case"
It’s also quite soothing to watch the display change, minute by minute. And to work out how the 7-segment display works. Three options are reversible, down-side up and side to side (0, 1 and 8). Two are reversible down-side up (2 and 5). Two make different numbers down-side up (6 and 9). Three are hopeless (3, 4 and 7). Such fun!
It might help your M, to know the time and have something to occupy her mind while she stays in bed.
Speak to moms doctor about this and see what s/he has to say. And have Plan B in place as things progress.
Best of luck to you.
My mom's aphasia happened immediately after a stroke 8 years ago. She was able to live in an assisted living apt for over 4 years. We took her out during COVID as she was so isolated, and I started living with her full time. All that time, she was the same person, except that she couldn't talk.
My mom can't get the information from her brain out of her head (speaking or writing or drawing) So, I've tried very hard, with her, to come up with ways to communicate. And it works well. I feel like I live with Groot ("I am Groot" - you will know what that is if you saw the Guardians of the Galaxy
movie! LOL!)
the use of Melatonin or other OTC sleep aids can increase the risk of falls so I would avoid them.
I never considered placing a lock on her door.
UTIs do cause odd behavior but I certainly wouldn’t rule out dementia in your situation.
Please take your mom to the neurologist and discuss your concerns.
If she tries to get out of the house, then a contact alarm device on the exterior doors would help. A decade ago, I bought two of them for around $12 (they were extremely easy to install) because my grandmother very occasionally left the house. They worked great. Whenever the front or back doors were opened, there was a distinct audible alarm.
However, she would regularly get up at night and walk around the house, and I never saw an issue with that behavior. I think it was self-soothing for her and something to do when she woke up in the middle of the night. It was never a concern for me or her hired caregivers, other than that she might try to go outside.
I know how easy it is to go down the rabbit hole of what-ifs, but I think caregivers have to work with what-is, or they make themselves crazy. No one can protect against everything they can imagine their Loved One getting up to while unsupervised... however... if there is zero history of something, then please don't worry that a new behavior will suddenly crop up. It might. And you'll deal with it then.
I'm trying to be reassuring and comforting; how am I doing? :)
Others have mentioned childproof knobs. I get that locking someone in a room is a fire risk, but childproofing a home isn't considered a fire risk and is commonly done. Question for the forum: Childproof locks on windows and doors are safety recommendations for parents; what is the difference for elders with/without dementia?
*AllAloneMe, I'm very interested in what communication adjustments have helped with your mom. Can you describe what you're doing to help her? I'm in an MS for behavior analysis and want to practice with gerontology clients. I'd be very grateful to learn more about what you're doing to help your mom communicate better post-stroke.
**You could put a contact alarm on the bathroom door. After a little bit of experience with the new alarm, that might be enough to get her to avoid going in there when she's up, and she will use her commode if she has to go.
As far as the bathroom, I would lock the door. You can reverse the doorknob if there is a lock on them - or buy a new set and install them with the lock on the bedroom side. That should take about 10-15 minutes to install.
If there IS cognitive decline, then therapeutic lies and behavior modification tools are the caregiver's best friend. But you say there is no cognitive decline.
Why is there a need to change something for your mom's safety? Doing any childproofing or any other modifications without your mom's input and consent when she's well able to give it is not something I'd recommend.
Maybe if you give an example of a specific concern or fear you have about your mom getting up at night, you'll get additional input that will be helpful for your situation. Wishing you all the best!