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Your Dad really needs to see an Ear, Nose & Throat doctor to see if in fact he is losing his hearing or if wax has harden in his ear. If it is a harden wax, a hearing aid won't help. Even if it takes months for your Dad to see this doctor, it will be worth it.
Are they the sort of folk a social worker may write "fiercely independant" in their notes?
Maybe they are living just how they wish to?
Aging in place. Alone. Despite the hardships. Despite all risks.
Avoiding change.
Sometimes it takes a crises to FORCE change.
Often a fall of some sort, but can be anything eg a medical emergency (stroke), illness (Covid), a house situation (storm damage, bills forgotten: power cutoff) etc.
Change may include having to move temporarility (hospital, rehab) or permanently (into a care facility).
Will they be any safer?
Will they be any happier?
Alostnavigator, maybe you will be joining the club? (I've been a member quite a while now..)
*The awaiting a crises club*
Welcome.
Then sit back and wait for The Phone Call that some crisis has occurred. That's all you CAN do. Most of us know the drill, unfortunately.
Best of luck to you.
This is the way they choose to live, you may have to accept that and just let the marbles fall where they may.
Trust me I know how hard that is, most of us here understand.
I imagine when there is an emergency you will here from one or the other.
Welcome to the forum, best of luck
Does she shop for groceries? Have a landline phone? A cell phone? Electricity? A computer and the internet? Do they get social security checks? Have Medicare? Do they own their home?
How is your mom’s physical and mental health?
Do they ever go to the doctor or dentist?
I wish you peace in coping, however it unfolds. It sounds very stressful. I wonder whether your dad is at risk of causing problems. When my dad had dementia, before he got on the right meds, he was climbing on the roof in the middle of the night, disconnecting the water pipes, prying the thermostat off the wall, all kinds of crazy and unsafe things.
How Far from them do you live? Do you have any siblings or other relatives? Are there neighbors or friends nearby them whom you know?